𝚏𝚘𝚘𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝 | Yuta Okkotsu x Reader

♡ 2 | Don't waste your tears

You could hardly focus on any lecture today. Your mind is full of blanks as you idle by the vending machine during lunch. Pursing your lips, all you can think about is Okkotsu's reaction this morning with the cookie exchange. So if you were to fall in love with someone else, he would be happy for you? Of course he would. Why would he feel anything more than happiness for his childhood friend. 

"Are things rough at home? I haven't seen you bring lunch anymore." Okkotsu appears beside you, his arm reaching over to feed the machine with a few coins. He presses a button to get a drink before returning his eyes back on you. You step to the side to give him space. 

Okkotsu raises the drink to you instead of taking the drink for himself. Your eyes fall to the drink in his hand. He purchased your favorite drink. The action alone causes your heart to sink. You refrain from accepting his offer with a shake to your head. "It's nothing." You whisper under your breath. 

There's a raise to Okkotsu's brow but he's unable to further question you. Orimoto and Inumaki make their way over to the two of you with their lunch in hand. "Yuta, Y/N! Let's go find a spot to eat lunch!" Orimoto smiles sweetly, her voice full of pep. 

You're unsure if you can pretend any further if you were to spend lunch with the others. You notice the matching bento sets in Orimoto's hands. Today hurts more than the others and this happens every year. You can only mentally curse yourself for not letting your feelings go. Feelings that will most likely never be returned. 

Patting your skirt, you pretend to forget your phone back in the classroom. "You three go ahead, I forgot my phone back in the classroom." You form a weak tiny smile to the others before hurrying back into the school building. You don't wait to hear their response. Standing there felt uncomfortable as if you were sinking under the ocean unable to breath. 

You only feel relief when you enter the empty classroom. Slowly you walk over to your desk and sit down while resting your head against the cool wooden desk.  Inhaling deeply, you then exhale slowly. You then sit up and reach for your schoolbag to grab the crumpled letter. Your fingertips glide across Okkotsu's name. 

Inside this envelope is a letter with your entire heart written inside. The words you're unable to verbally say aloud is penned down. Several scratched out thoughts are piled as paper balls by your desk at home. But why did you put in so much energy for something that's impossible? Frustration, anger, hurt, pathetic, and a fool. These emotions weigh heavily on you. 

"I'm a fool to believe I have a chance." The words tremble out of your throat. Your hands begin to tremble as you clutch tightly onto the envelope. In the heat of the moment you rip the envelope in half. Tears begin to trickle down your cheeks. Too focused on yourself, you don't realize it when someone enters the classroom. 

When you hear the sound of nearby footsteps is when you look up. Your hand covers the name on the envelope when you breathlessly see Okkotsu standing there. His eyes glance from you to the shredded evidence beneath your shaky palms. You're quick to ball up the evidence and hastily wipe your tears away. Thoughts swirl your mind as what to say but Okkotsu is the first to speak up. 

"I figured something was wrong. You're a terrible liar Y/N." Okkotsu's soft tone seeps through your heart. You try to ignore how kind his voice is. "That was a confession letter wasn't it? Did something happen?" Okkotsu scoots his chair out and he takes a seat. 

Casting your eyes to the side, you hide your hands in your lap underneath the table. "I don't want to talk about it." You mumble out between sniffles. Looking at Okkotsu will definitely break you. There's a silence in the conversation, one that is not comfortable in the least. 

"I'm not leaving until you tell me." Okkotsu curtly responds back. You hear him cross his arms, resting it on the top of his chair while he rests his chin on his arms. His dark blue eyes are staring directly through you. You chew on your inner cheek, lips pursing into a fine line as your vision begins to blur again. 

"You shouldn't keep Rika waiting for you. It looks terrible that you left your girlfriend on Valentines Day to talk to your friend." Your eyes downcast and you clench your teeth when you feel tears glide against your face again. Okkotsu remains silent and unwavering. He seems adamant about rooting himself there until you tell him what's wrong. 

A heavy sigh escapes from Okkotsu. "It's also terrible that my best friend is hiding things from me." His words easily pulls your attention back to you. You silently stare at Okkotsu who's lips part open again to say more. "Rika also knows I'm here to check on you." 

Upon hearing the latter sentence, your eyes drop down. Your knuckles turn white from how tightly you ball up your fists. Of course Okkotsu wouldn't disappear and come here on his own accord. He would definitely tell Orimoto every action he does as a respect to her. "The guy..." You hesitate to tell Okkotsu the reason for your tears. 

But why hide your reasoning? It's not like anything will change whether or not you tell him. You take a deep breath before continuing. "The guy I like is already in a relationship. So I couldn't hand this letter to him." 

Okkotsu rustles slightly in front of you. You slowly raise your eyes back up to him. He wears a frown on his face, his hand gently ruffling the top of your head. "I'm sorry to hear that Y/N. It's his loss. Don't cry over a guy like him."

Your tears only fall more when you hear Okkotsu's words of "comfort". His hand never leaves from the top of your head as he carefully strokes your hair. Idiot. That guy is you. You wished to cry that out to him but you know better.

"I know you're hurting a lot. But I'll be here for you. Rika and Toge too. Let's go to the arcade today. It's been awhile since we went there as a group." Okkotsu continues to speak to break the silence. Something he hardly does. You only wished he treated you like this in a different time. Maybe he does in another universe.

You can only weakly nod in response despite not wanting to spend even more time with the couple. Okkotsu pulls his hand away and exhales. "Maybe the distraction will help you forget about this guy slowly but surely. Before you know it, your heart will heal and you'll find that perfect someone again. "

You can only stare at Okkotsu with glossed over eyes and a frown. He rewards you with a bright smile and words that only hurt you further. "Your my precious best friend. Love will find it's way to you no matter what. Don't waste your tears on this guy Y/N." 

But will you be able to let go and heal? To do so you'll need to distance yourself away from Okkotsu. Is that even possible?