COME SAIL AWAY; abed nadir

INTRODUCTION TO STATISTICS

outfits for this chapter!

The school was decorated for Halloween, though, I'm not quite sure that Chang knows that Dia de Los Muertos is not Mexican Halloween. Which was made very clear in class today.

Senor Chang spoke at the front of the class, "As you know, faculty at Greendale are required to give extra credit to students who organize class-related events during our otherwise...free time. No student in any other department has ever exercised this option...until now." No surprise, Annie Edison ethusiastically joins Chang at the front of the class.

Annie presented her event to the class, "Tonight, in the library, I will be hosting a Dia de Los Muertos party. Dia de Los Muertos, or Day of the Dead, is sometimes referred to as Mexican Halloween,-"

Chang interrupted her, "A name quite offensive to people familiar with "Mexican Halloween" as a sexual position. At any rate, if you show up, you get extra credit. Me, I don't even get paid. See you tonight."

Some of the students shuffle out of the class.

Annie watched the people leaving the class and called out to the rest of us sitting, "Um, most of you have responded to my E-vite, but some of you remain... evasive, so..."

Shirley spoke up, "Count me in. This is my first college party. I got some tequila, I just rented "Van Wilder 2, the Rise of Taj," and look..." Shirley waved her hand in Annie's face.

Britta gasped, "Shirley! You took off your wedding ring!"

"My husband's been gone for six months and it is time for me to embrace being single."

Pierce walked by, "Message received."

"Why can't that guy just not be disgusting for once in his life?" I remarked to Abed and Troy in the corner of the class, away from the rest of the group.

"I don't know, that's kind of his M.O., right?" Troy asked.

"Pretty much, he's here to be a funny stereotype only. Not really the type with layers. He's just an old, white man with a lot of money and daddy issues." Abed gave his two cents.

I rounded on Abed, "How do you know he has daddy issues?"

"I overheard him talking in his sleep when he spent the day napping on the couch last week. He was all crying and whimpering about his grievances."

"Huh, fun," I said sarcastically, "Seriously though, we've got to go to Fashion Design 101 or we're going to be late. I can't risk another tardy or else the dean is going to force me to watch Pretty Woman with him again."

We collected our things and made our way to the North Hall. Fashion Design 101 was the ultimate blow-off class. That's the only reason Troy, Abed, and I were in it. Also, with it being a blow-off class, Jeffery Winger was in it too.

At first, Jeffery and I didn't like each other. I thought that he was a manipulative douchebag, and that's true. He thought I was a judgemental teenager, which is not true. I was a judgmental teenager a year ago, now I'm a judgmental adult. However, in the past few weeks, we have bonded over judging people and daddy issues. Though, he still does douchey things.

~~~

Jeffery Winger has yet again done a douchey thing.

Troy and I are sitting against the bookshelves in the library while Abed is standing over us in a Batman costume which was probably handmade. Abed doesn't trust costume companies to be one-hundred percent accurate with their designs. I'm not entirely sure what Troy is supposed to be but I told him he looks nice anyway after he complimented my Catwoman costume. I was in a black bodysuit that zipped up into a turtleneck, but I had it zipped down just enough to let myself breathe. Annie thought I looked super cute but Britta kept on giving me surprised looks. Almost like she didn't expect me to wear something so form-fitting.

"Guys, where's Jeff?" I asked. If Jeff has bailed on this party to go flirt with Professor Slater I am going to riot.

"He's at the party in the teacher's lounge. He left a while ago," Troy answered absentmindedly.

I stood up, "You've got to be kidding me."

We left for the study room where Annie was freaking out. She pulled me to the side, "Belle, Jeff left. Now everyone else is leaving to get home in time for the news!" Annie cried.

I heard struggle on the other side of the room. I turned to see Troy try to restrain Pierce who was clearly high out of his mind.

"Dear God," I grabbed Britta and left for the cafeteria, Abed and Troy followed suit.

We found Jeff flirting with Professor Slater and I aggressively tapped on his shoulder, "Jeff Winger, what do you think you're doing?"

Jeff smiled, "Isabella Diaz, what do you think you're doing?"

"Bringing you back to the party that's what."

Britta piped in, "Jeff, what are you wearing?"

"You needed a costume to get in," Jeff explained.

"Well, all the costume stores must be closed so what I'm hearing is that you own a cowboy costume," Britta laughed.

"Hold on-"

"And it's tight, did you buy it like that?"

Abed rushed to Jeff, "Jeff, you need to get back to Annie's party. She's feeling unpopular," Abed said in the batman voice that he had used all evening.

Troy also rushed to our side, "Jeff, Pierce is acting weird. He's sweating and touching people."

Then, Pierce came into the cafeteria, screaming at the bird on his costume and grinding against the women's studies department. Jeff found that the best solution to his problem was to insult all of us until we left. Which made me wish Professor Slater would reject his ass.

~~~

I watched as Pierce made a fort of desks and chairs. I wonder if this is how normal people react on a bad trip.

"Belle, do you want to stay for the rest of the party or do you want to go watch Batman?" Abed asked, still using his Batman voice.

"I think I wanna stay. I want to see if Jeff shows up." I answer.

Troy says, "Belle, I don't think he's going to-"

Before he can even finish his sentence Jeffery Winger strolls into the study room.

I approach Jeff in a hurry, "Jeff, Pierce is in the fort, he says he's going to crush himself."

Jeff nods and goes into the fort. After only being in there a minute the fort begins to crash down.

I turned to Abed in a worry, "Someone needs to save them," Of course, I was aware that Abed would take it upon himself to save the two as a real superhero would. That's exactly what he did.