STUPID DEEP | YOONMIN

FOUR

Yoongi decided to go to the second floor where the rooms are.

While walking upstairs, he was welcomed by the tiny frames that has a picture of him, his Mama, and Seokjin. The first photo was taken when he was in pre-school, he was wearing a yellow sweatshirt and black pants. Young Yoongi was holding his first Walkman while doing a peace pose. His mother gave him a cassette player as a reward because he's been a good boy.

Still carrying his luggage, he glanced at Seokjin's solo picture. As usual, he was wearing a formal gray-checkered suit while looking elegant.

Yoongi's lips formed into a smile. Seokjin is very different from other chaebol kids back then. Yes, he is a son of one of the richest CEO in Korea but when Seokjin is with Yoongi and their mom, he's just like a normal kid who loves playing video games.

Upon stepping forward, he stares at his mother's picture who is sitting prettily while holding a sunflower. He caresses his infinity necklace pendant that have his Mama's ashes in it.

It's been forever since his mother died but the sadness and bereavement are still there.

The young man immediately enters his mother's room. Yoongi took his time to roam his eyes, he even forced himself to remember how it looked back then.

From the corals on the huge cabinet, to the surfing board on the corner, the arrangement of the bed, to the blank canvases and untouched paintbrushes.

"It's still the same." He whispers. Yoongi expected it to be dusty and all so seeing how well taken care his late mother's room makes him happy.

Now that he is spending his time for god-knows how long in this hometown, he decided to sleep in his mama's room instead of his. He wanted to feel her presence and wanted to feel that she's with him.

Yoongi moved onto the balcony to breathe some fresh air. To his surprised, he saw an unfinished painting in front of a thick Calcutta with handcrafted bamboo chair, a tub full of different kinds and sizes of paintbrushes, and an empty mug on the floor.

It was his mother's last painting before she dies.

He glances at the unfinished ocean painting with rage. He wanted to throw and rip it into pieces! Yoongi throws dagger stare at the sea; he remembers it all.

She wasn't able to finish it because the ocean took her from him.

"Mama!" the young boy shouts out of fear; he keeps on grasping his mama's hand.

Dark.

All he can see is the darkness that slowly eating them.

He shuts his eyes as the old memories are rushing in. His tears staring to fall, too.

"Mama!" he cries again and again, hoping that he can feel his mama's embrace. He's hoping that he can hear his mama's soothing voice that is calling him. Instead, he feels the rough and strong waves that is trying to pull him deeper and deeper. The sound of scary mad waves is engulfing his ears.

He can feel his head throbbing, his breathing is starting to weaken, too. Yoongi tried to pull his hair; hoping to ease the pain from the sudden headache but it gets worse and worse.

Yoongi rested his back on the bamboo chair and tried to calm himself but the old tragic memories that night is getting stronger.

He keeps pulling his hair to avoid remembering it. Knuckles white from clenching on his hair too hard, and with gritted teeth, he whispers, "I will never ever forgive you. I won't look at you the same way again, and I will hold this grudge and hatred forever, until I die. Stupid ugly sea"