The Country Club

Revelations

"You're so annoying." You sighed, falling limp in Lokis grip as he continued to carry you to where you could only assume was his room.

"Whatever you say miss." He answered with a smug smile still parading you around.

"Once you put me down I'm going to run." You warned.

"I guess I'll just have to chase you then." He answered, opening his door before putting you down. You rolled your eyes at him as you faced him, once again properly seeing him up close. Handsome as always.

"Go on then speak." You tutted.

"Well I—" he began.

"So you're not really with Darcy?" You interrupted.

"No I—"

"So then what was all that lovey dovey shit?" You quipped.

"All to make you jealous." He admitted, fitting Bucky and Darcy's earlier narrative.

"Why, why couldn't you just talk to me like a normal person?"

"Because I knew that after all this time you wouldn't be willing to hear me out." He answered.

"I'm listening now."

"Only because I stole you away." He smirked.

"Fair."

"I knew that if you were jealous, you'd probably confront me and then I'd use the situation to my advantage and speak to you." He explained.

"Fine. Then why did you both look so in love?" You asked, knitting your brows, there was no way that could have been acting. Did Loki truly think you were that stupid? Instead of answering, he just grinned. "I'm not laughing Loki." You stressed causing his grin to widen. Fucking prick.

"I wanted to press your buttons." He finally answered, eyes running over your body.

"Well consider my buttons pressed." You scolded.

"Oh come on y/n, you can't possibly think I like Darcy."

"Well what else am I to think when you enter every room with her hanging off your arm?" You said, raising your voice.

"Fine." He breathed, stepping closer to you "for arguments sake, let's say I am with her. What does that mean for us?" He asked lowly, seductively. Sooo annoying.

"There is no us, there hasn't been an us for a while. Youmade sure of that when you left." You fumed, prodding him in the chest with your finger.

"My greatest mistake."

"So why did you do it?" You sighed as he sat on the edge of his bed.

"I told you, I was scared."

"Scared of what?" You delved further.

"Love, commitment." He listed.

"Why?"

"It doesn't matter." He dismissed.

"Why Loki." You asked again, stepping towards him "please."

Taking your hand in his, Loki looked up at you as you stood between his legs looking down at him trying to work out what he was thinking from his expression. It was saddened, downcast. His gaze flicked from yours to your hand in his where it stayed for a few moments. His thumbs drew small circles over your hand as a silence settled between you both. Using your finger, you tilted his chin upwards so that his gaze could focus on you again. Once your eyes met, you spoke again.

"Why?" He didn't reply. Taking a deep breath, you withdrew your hand from his before spinning on your heels to leave.

"BECAUSE OF HER!" He exclaimed causing you to pause.

"Her?" You choked, not daring to turn to face him. Who was her?

"There was someone, someone years before you and I—I loved her very much but it didn't work out and that's it." He answered before clearing his throat.

"What happened?" you murmured, slowly turning to face him again.

"Nothing y/n."

"Tell me."

"She died." He answered simply.

"W—what?" You sniffled. Loki had a dead ex you had never heard about and no one thought to tell you. Not even Thor.

"That's it."

"Oh."

"Yes."

The silence was suffocating as you faced him. Instead of looking at you, Loki was looking towards the ground. You didn't know what to do so you relied on your instincts. Stepping back towards Loki you took your position, standing between his legs again before wrapping your arms around him. Resting his cheek against your abdomen, he wrapped his arms around your torso, hugging you back.

"She was very sick before she passed. I promised I'd never fall in love again but then I met you. You made me feel things I hadn't felt in forever and I hoped you didn't feel the same. You feeling the same meant that we could have had something and having something felt like a betrayal to her. When you said you loved me I flaked I got scared and I left." He explained as you soothingly rubbed his back.

"Betraying her?" You uttered "what about me? My feelings?" You continued only being met with silence. "Loki, I'm sorry I really am but I can't complete with a dead girl." You sniffled before stepping out of his embrace and leaving the room.

Slightly insensitive, you knew that but you continued to walk away, wiping tears that had spilt. You didn't know if they were your own or if you were crying for Loki. You couldn't allow yourself to fall back into the trap of loving him if he didn't want to love you back. The tears grew heavier as the realisation of not being enough tore through you. You half expected him to chase you but he didn't. You had to leave, had to go home this was all too much. Seeing Loki was too much. Learning about his past was too much.