The Gilded Cage - Taking my Place

Curiouser and Curiouser

I did my best, I suppose. I did not sink into depression, as I had before, because I was totally immersed in my Meadvale family. The house was full, as Christmas approached, and I helped Miss Ford a lot, and Nicola spent every night with me. So, I was never alone and I did not have much chance to brood, or blame myself. My parents were at the Ellesmere's for Christmas, in the company of the Radcliffes and the Deacons, including Bella and her Pastor. I saw them all at church, which fell on Boxing Day, and it was horrible to think about the gulf between us, a gulf I could not actually imagine how to cross anymore. Mama, Grandmama and Miss Knight never took their eyes off me, and Miss Ford, and Annie, who was helping out because she loved the girls just as much as me, both jollied me along. But the things my mother had said, and the many things that she had insinuated, played on my mind. However, as the new year appeared on the horizon before me, I was momentarily distracted by news on the home front. I had fully suspected that Malcolm Montague was gathering his family around him in Meadvale to support Papa, in his personal battle with Richard Ellesmere. And at a family dinner, it was announced that Henry's father was transferring back from Frankfurt to work at head office. Catriona had her daughter back as well as three more grandchildren to dote on, and poor Henry was about to start at Deepdene in a few days' time.

"Plots and counter plots...it's all one big soap opera!" Annie insisted, as she unbuttoned my gown, in my room, getting me ready for bed. "And that poor boy...how long will he be in frock coats and tights for?"

"Steven Blackstone was in kilts until he was sixteen, Miss Stewart." I pointed out, grinning at Nicola, who was wide awake in my bed, waiting for me.

"Only in Meadvale...but the picture Miss Ford put out on social media, of Henrietta talking to Henry...it has four hundred thousand likes...it is insane?" She sighed, shaking her head at what she saw as the madness of Meadvale. "I mean, he looks cute, like Little Lord Fauntleroy cute, but it is still a bit mad?"

"But you like it here, Miss Stewart?" I suggested, as she helped me step out of my gown.

"I am a humble mercenary, Hermione...I have saved seventy thousand pounds since I started working here...and if last term is anything to go by, with my accommodation and food all paid for, it will be one hundred thousand by the summer. And Deepdene is a doddle...there is a lot to do...I hate to think how many nappies I changed last term...but it's easy work..."

"Even in a gown?"

"Yes, cheeky chops...even in a gown, which I know I said I would never wear...so, I am a total hypocrite, but I am getting paid to wear it, and I am getting a lot of invaluable experience to boot. One day soon...in a year or two more...I will buy a house and use that experience to get a normal job! And I will never wear a gown again!"

"Are you ok?" Nicola asked, fifteen minutes later. We were all cuddled up, and the light had been switched off, but Annie had not given us our pacifiers. It was an indulgence, but it was the holidays, and maybe we both deserved a treat. Nicola was keeping an eye on me too, as I told her everything I was feeling, and she was worrying about me.

"Yes...I think so...here, with the family, I am fine...it is the only place I ever want to be...but I keep thinking about my parents?" I admitted, holding her tight. "I really don't know what their problem is? They wanted me to make a life here, and marry Steven Blackstone...and that is basically what I am doing?"

"It's their problem, not yours?" She huffed; her breath hot against my neck. "You chose this life, and you like it...if they only want to ruin it for you, it's better not to see them?"

"But they are my parents...we had happy times together..."

"You tried...and she just upset you...you can keep trying...keep in touch...but they have to change, not you...and they are wrong, not you?" My sister said, with some passion.