the only time i feel i might get better (is when we are together) - ziam

Seven ･ﾟ✧

Liam watched Zayn in the corner of his eye as he ate the toast, the boy had now moved the duvet back over his lap and the teddy was somewhere hidden underneath - Liam wondered why he had hidden it once more when he had already blatantly seen it, but he just assumed that perhaps Zayn was embarrassed of the teddy and shrugged it off, though he hoped that this was not the case. The boy certainly fascinated him, and he was unsure of why he had never acknowledged how entertaining witnessing Zayn was before, but he left it down to the fact that he'd always been an arsehole to Zayn and his existence to make up for the fact he's never noticed. He has been a dick really.

Being pulled out from his thoughts with a groan, he paid attention to the movie, acknowledging that Zayn was now really into it and zoned out. It was an adorable sight to see even if Liam hated to admit it. "You look a lot like Bambi." He chuckled and looked between the film and then back at Zayn for a comparison. He was right, really. Zayn had big innocent Bambi eyes, and he was very clumsy, as though he had legs of a Deer. It was a rather accurate comparison.

"Really?" Zayn smiled to himself, shyly and looked at Liam. "You look like the Great Prince of the Forest..." The Great Prince of the Forest is Bambi's father, a stag and full of muscle, quite the opposite to Bambi. It really did look a lot like Liam.

Liam laughed once more, "You think so? I mean I have been working out a lot recently, so I guess it makes sense."

"You're full of yourself." Zayn muttered and got up, finishing his soup. He put the now empty bowl in the sink to be washed up at a later time, something he will probably end up doing as Liam never did the pots, and returned back into his cosy bed with a large stretch. "I feel lazy."

"That's alright. You're sick and it's alright to be lazy when you don't feel the best. Plus, I feel perfectly fine and I've done the majority today of what you have done; we can both be lazy together. However, I should be going to sleep soon as I have to be up early tomorrow for training." He said and finished off his now cold toast, "I'll sleep once the movies over, don't wanna turn it off when you're enjoying it."

The older boy smiled with a nod and laid down. He'd be completely lying if his brain didn't feel all fuzzy because it did – and he was extremely terrified. There was just something about the way Liam was acting which made him feel so warm and cared for, something that made him feel so scaringly small. It's as though Liam was doing it on purpose, as if he knew what he was doing. But that can't be right.

If Zayn slipped in front of Liam, he would not only be highly embarrassing himself, but the secret would be out. Liam may be acting nice towards him right now, but Liam could snap at any moment, and he certainly did not want to be little to see it. Besides, no one has even seen his little space side before – not even Louis - and he doesn't want Liam to be the first person to see it. He probably wouldn't even understand for starters, he'd call him weird and judge him for it. He probably already thought that Zayn was weird and disgusting for having a teddy at his big age. (He really didn't though, Zayn was just overthinking again.)

The boy rubbed his eyes and cuddled up in bed, taking a deep breath. Maybe it was the fact that Bambi was on TV that was making him feel little? Zayn really didn't know but whatever it was, he wanted it to stop before he slipped into the headspace. (He also really hated the fact that a headspace he used to love and adore was currently feeling like a punishment or something.)

"Are you okay?" Liam asked and Zayn just nodded in response, words not being able to fall from his lips, so he didn't even bother to attempt, Liam had just raised an eyebrow, as if to say, 'You sure?', and looked back over towards the TV and away from the opposite boy.

Zayn could already feel himself sinking deep into the headspace and he hated it, even if he shouldn't, his body and mind felt relaxed. He felt calm, and for the first time while almost being in little space at university, he felt safe. He wanted to do nothing more than curl up and sleep; It didn't take long and with a mental fight, he slipped. Too exhausted and warm inside to continue. He was small, and he was frightened, he didn't want Liam to acknowledge that he wasn't his big self but there was truly nothing more that he could do right now other than hold his teddy in his arms and watch the Disney film and become mesmerised by the characters and the music that was playing.

It had been ages since he had slipped this small. If he was to estimate, he reckoned he felt around two years old right now when usually he felt around four to seven years old. He was deep in the space, and it felt odd, maybe he should send Louis a text? Louis may be able to help him feel big again, but oh, he doesn't feel like he's able to type right now. He's too little. Maybe he should sleep instead? Liam said he would be sleeping in a little while too and it is getting late so perhaps, he should. That makes sense. Sleeping seemed like a good thing to do right now. He shut his eyes and tossed and turned, shoving his thumb in his mouth for comfort, it being the only thing that could keep him calm while in the headspace at the moment, afraid of Liam's judgement and odd looks. He was soon able to fall asleep to the soft sound of Disney music in the background and if Liam had acknowledged the thumb in the sleeping boy's mouth with a raised eyebrow and a smile, Zayn wasn't to know.