the only time i feel i might get better (is when we are together) - ziam

Ten ‎✧ ೃ༄

"Because well, I don't know... You were just sat there, looking all... sad. It made me feel bad, made me realise I was acting like a prick. I don't know, you have a way for doing that to me and I've noticed it all of a sudden - you look so innocent sometimes and it makes me feel calm, I can't explain why or how but you just do." Liam shrugged, packing away his training bag. He threw some of his dirty clothes by the washer and stretched, "What did you paint?"

"Oh... I don't- I'm sorry." Zayn looked at his painting and faced it away from Liam, "I don't want you to look at it, if that's fine?"

"No need to apologise, and fair enough... Where did you put your teddy?"

Zayn played anxiously with his own hands, "It's on my bed. Why do you care for it?" Zayn was sure that the lad was just pissing him off now, there's just genuinely no reason to bring it up as much he has been doing. It's making him uncomfortable, nothing else. "I just think it's sweet, you know. I've never seen someone our age with a teddy before, only even real little kids. You know? Suppose it adds to the innocence of you."

"Innocence." Zayn repeated, eyes narrowed. "Yeah, innocence. I've told you before that you're just like Bambi, clumsy and with big, soft eyes. There's something about you, Zayn. I don't know what it is but maybe one day I'll work it out."

Zayn looked down, what was this man getting at? He supposed Liam had seen him in little space but as far as he was aware, he did a good job of hiding the fact he was in it. He slept almost instantly to avoid the embarrassment of exposing himself but could Liam tell? Would Liam even know what age regression was?

"You alright?" Liam asked, and Zayn looked back up. He had a habit of looking away from Liam, it's as though he can't keep eye contact with the boy. "Yes. I'm fine."

"Sooo... Do you like, collect teddy's. Do you have any more?"

Why was Liam so curious? "No. I just have my one, I don't see why you're asking."

"I told you. I've never seen someone our age with a teddy before." He bit his nails, studying Zayn and his features. Watching how Zayn was still holding the artwork to his chest in an almost, protective hold: being careful for none of the watercolour to transfer onto the pale shirt in which he was wearing.

The older boy sighed, putting the watercolour painting back onto the canvas to finish at another time. He held his teddy and rubbed his thumb against the teddy's cheek, caressing it. "It's normal, Liam. Get over it. I've had it for years and I'm going to have it for much longer, it's my safety and as much as it's embarrassing to admit: I'll admit it. So can you please stop asking questions about them? They're mine, not yours. They're of importance to me, and not to you. If for any odd reason, you need to discuss my teddy - I will tell you first. Though I don't see why you would need to, it's feeling slightly teasing now."

"Damn, mate. I'm sorry. I told you I was just intrigued, they're just rather neat. Aren't they? I didn't know me talking about them would upset you so much and I didn't mean to act as though I was teasing you, however I suppose because of the way I've acted with you previously - it could make it seem like that. I'm sorry, I guess."

The older boy tucked the teddy back into his bed and then hid away the watercolour painting to finish at a later time, in which he could freely concentrate during. Right now he was on edge and he knew that he'd make mistakes to the painting if he even tried and he doesn't want to ruin something he spent so long perfecting. Liam's eyes were on him and it felt rather distracting. Why does this man have an impact on him?

"I've got a meeting later so I need to leave in an hour." Liam said, facing out of the window.

Zayn nodded, "Um. Why are you telling me? You usually just leave?" He questioned, his voice gentle yet curious. "I'm just telling you so that you know, is that such a crime?"

Liam's attitude was for sure still there but something had changed about him and Zayn wasn't sure what it was. From constant yelling and rudeness to gentle questions and announcements about what he was doing, Zayn was in shock. He's still considering asking the boy about why he changed but he's still not ready at all for the consequences that may follow. He's also wondering why Liam of all people is going to meeting, though he just assumed it was for something football related.

"No. It's not. Just wondering s' all. What's the meeting for?"

"No comment." Liam hummed and got up, "Right. I'm going to have a shower because I'm all sweaty and horrible." The boy stripped virtually in front of Zayn and grabbed his Bluetooth speaker before heading into their shared bathroom. Liam connected his phone and blasted the R&B he usually plays which Zayn was very slowly getting used to the sound of, even if Liam's music taste was very limited and he would only play the same few songs on repeat - most of them not at all adventurous and stolen from the current top hits, it was quite catchy.

Liam is very much a basic man though so Zayn doubts the boy would do any additional research and find some indie musicians to listen to, his music taste was expected but Zayn hopes one day that he could expand Liam's music taste so that he wouldn't have to listen to the same crap over and over again. They could even go to concerts together in the future, however for that to happen - Liam would have to fix his attitude as a whole because there is no way Zayn was dragging an arsey Liam to a gig.

Zayn's music taste consisted of a range of genres but his current favourite go to, was 'Pop rock' and he couldn't stop listening to The Vaccines. There was just something about their voices and the way their lyrics and music flows so perfectly together, it was both calming and serotonin boosting. It was the perfect amount of anything you could ever want in a band and he was grateful that Spotify suggested them to him.