the only time i feel i might get better (is when we are together) - ziam

Sixteen ‎✧ ೃ༄

An hour later, the lecture was over and Zayn was awoken by Louis who had wandered in and found him. His own hair a mess and his left cheek red from being planted against the wooden desk, he looked up with a faded pink blush, from both the embarrassment and the effect of his face being perched against the side. "Oh. Louis..."

"Did you not sleep well or somethin'?" The boy chuckled and sat next to him, wrapping an arm around him. "No, I slept good but I guess I just zoned out and yeah... Ended up falling asleep. Told you these lessons were boring."

"Suppose you did." Louis smiled, looking around. "It's quite big in here for the amount of art students there are, no offence Zee." It was true, the hall was massive: rows upon rows of desks and tables with a massive whiteboard in front of it all, a projecter shining against it.

"None taken, Lou. You're right... It can be overwhelming," Zayn smiled and ran a hand through his hair, "Why are you here?"

"Because I haven't heard from you in days, text ya and got no response so I set off on a hunt to find you. Thankfully, me being the bestest of friends, remembered your schedule." He grinned and crossed his legs on the chair. "Thought Liam did something to you, I was quite worried."

"Oh, Liam... Yeah. No... He's alright now." Zayn muttered awkwardly, playing with the cuff of his long sleeved shirt. How was he going to explain this one?

"Alright? Please enlighten me... Last time you mentioned Liam to me, he was kicking you out of your own dorm to fuck some random lass he met on the street?" Louis huffed, looking at Zayn. He put his fingers under Zayn's chin and made him look towards him. "Has he done something bad to you, be honest."

Zayn looked at Louis, their eyes connecting. Louis' full of curiousness and concern, Zayn's full of something unreadable. "What- no. He's been good. I swear. We kinda spoke."

"Go on..."

"He was being a dick so I yelled at him and ever since that moment something changed in him, then we left it, then we spoke. He's still a dick but not as much." Zayn shrugged, not wanting to go in further. Yes, Louis was his best mate but his and Liam's friendship at the moment felt like something which should stay personal, plus they were in a lecture hall with a couple few people still in and he didn't want everyone hearing about it.

Louis put his legs down and simply raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean? I don't trust him."

"I don't want to tell you more."

"Why not?" Louis asked, groaning dramatically. He rubbed his hands against his knees. Louis really didn't trust Liam, especially after what the boy had done in the past. He can't help but feel as though Liam is gaslighting and leading the lad on in some sort of way. Zayn was easily tricked.

"Cause you'll make it a big deal." Zayn muttered again, chewing at his nails.

"Don't chew at your nails, Zee. It's not very nice. And I won't, well, I probably will. I hate that boy." He chuckled, "All I know is bad from him. How could he possibly be 'alright'?"

"Listen, I told you that we spoke. You'll know if he's an arse again." Zayn stopped chewing at his nails and put his hands up in defence, running a hand through his hair once more with a yawn. It was true, Louis would be the first to know if Liam had upset him. He always was.

"Fine.. Have you managed to have some small time to yourself lately...? Like I said, our dorm is always available for you to have privacy." Louis said, voice a lot more softer and quieter. Zayn played with his fingers, nodding. "One or two times maybe.. Both weren't the best but I have a feeling I'll be small a lot more often now."

Louis raised an eyebrow, unsure of what Zayn meant but nodded anyway, if it meant that Zayn was going to have time to be himself and stress free, then he was all for it. "Well I'm sorry they weren't the best, and I'm not entirely sure on what you mean by that but I know just how much you love and miss your little space, so whatever you're talking about, I like."

Zayn shyly smiled, pulling his teddy out of his bag but not enough that everyone left in the lecture hall could see it, and Louis just laughed, "You brought him with you?"

"Always do."

"You are very sweet, Zayn." Louis smiled, to which Zayn just simply blushed and played with the teddy's ears. "How's H?"

"Harry? He's good. Been very stressed out lately with Uni but he hasn't slipped in a while. I'm going to run him a warm bath tonight and make his favourite food. It might help him." He smiled, face lighting up in an instant at the thought of his own boyfriend, and little. He loved caring for him.

Zayn smiled back, "I've said it before, and you know it... But you're really good to him."

"Thank you, Zee. He deserves it. He's been through a lot and he's constantly in a battle with himself, I'm glad I can help him and be there for him. The change I've witnessed in him since meeting him for the first time back at college is crazy; he's completely opened up and got back on track with his mental health." Louis hummed, rubbing Zayn's back. Harry had a very deep past and he still struggled with it to this day, Zayn only knew small parts of it but what he did know was that Louis pretty much saved the boy in every way.

The younger boy got up and stretched, putting the teddy away and grabbing his bag. He shoved his empty notebook and pen in it too. "You're such a loving person, Lou. Want me to walk you back to your dorm? And I promise I'll text you more, I've just been busy."

Louis got up and laughed softly, "Yeah, and please do. I was genuinely worried for your safety. I'll have to come do weekly checks on you if you don't message me. You are like my little brother and I care largely for you."

Zayn giggled and zipped up his bag before putting it loosely over his shoulder but not loose enough that it'd fall, he wouldn't dare drop a bag with his beloved puppy teddy in. The two then started walking back to their dorms. "You'll have to be more careful about falling asleep in class too."

"Louuuiisssss." Zayn whined, "Acting like my Dad or somethin'."

"Sorry, sorry." He grinned, "Just the caregiver in me coming out."

The smaller boy blushed, biting his lip. He rubbed the back of his head, "Hey, Lou. I have a question?"

"Go ahead,"

"How did you know you were a caregiver?" He asked, voice innocent.

"Well, originally... I didn't. Harry was just very stressed and constantly upset, using bad coping methods and I desperately needed something to help. I did a lot of research and it was how I found age regression... At first, it seemed quite odd but I suggested it to Harry and we did a weeks trial of it. Harry very easily fell into the role of a little but I struggled to fall into mine as a caregiver... It took a lot of time and practise but then it just felt natural, now it's a daily thing for me. I love littles and I love children, I love caring for others... I never knew this about myself until I explored but I guess the world is about exploring, now I'm studying childcare at a high degree. Why do you ask?"

Zayn looked down and kicked a rock, "Just wonderin'."

"Alright..." Louis hummed and looked towards Zayn, curious. Zayn looked back at him and Louis did a cheeky smirk, everything about what Zayn previously said about being able to slip more often coming back to him, "Is there someone...?"

Zayn played with his fingers again, shy. He then shrugged slightly and Louis wrapped an arm around him in a protective hold, "Well. I hope whoever it is will treat you good, Zayn. And I hope to meet them."

"Thank you. I'll see you in a bit, Lou. Thanks for checking on me." Zayn hugged him goodbye and took a step back, hand on the door knob to his own room.

"No problem, love." He rubbed the boys back before leaving and Zayn twisted the handle to his own room before entering it. He was greeted by a half naked Liam who was shirtless, laid in bed. Hair all wet and cheeks flushed.

"Hi... How did your exam go?"