Forever & Always

24.

I wake up this morning feeling a lot better compared to yesterday. I get out of bed and brush my teeth before heading down to breakfast. I walk into the canteen and grab some fruit and yogurt. I look around and see Demi, Lauren and Steph sitting at a table so I walk over and sit with them.
"Morning girls"
"Morning" they all say
"How you feeling" Demi asks me quietly
"Better, I'll tell you later" I say smiling at her and she nods. We talk for few more minutes until my focus is shifted to the little girl running through the canteen screaming my name. "Morning my girl" I say really exited as I pick Kara up and kiss her cheek.
"Morning mum" she says with a massive smile on her face. "Where did you sleep last night" she asks innocently. I choke on my words for a second until Demi says "she had a sleepover in my room" and I just look at her tankful. "Are you going to come back to me and mummy's room tonight" she asks shyly
"I don't know we'll have to wait and see, come on are you hungry" I say trying to change the subject.
"Yeah, can you get me some breakfast"
"Yeah of course come on" I say as I lift her up and we walk up to the food station. It's only when I get there that I realise I'm standing next to Keira.
"Morning" I say shyly
"Morning" she says in the same tone smiling at me
"What do you want kar" i ask her
"I can do that if you want" Keira says a bit awkward
"It's ok I don't mind" I say as I smile at her and she just smiles back.
"Can I have some eggs"
"Yeah of course" I say as I get her some eggs and toast and I walk back over to sit down but Kara and Keira sit at a different table.
"What was that" Demi asks as I sit down
"Nothing really" I say sounding a bit defeated
"Have you spoken to her yet"
"I mean we're talking but I haven't had a proper conversation with her, we're having one later"
"Good"
"I spoke to Sarah last night" I say quietly so only Demi can hear.
"How did it go" she asks cautiously not wanting to push me
"Yeah it was good" I say smiling at her and she just smiles back and puts her hand on my shoulder.
We finish eating and then head back up to our rooms to get ready for training.

*Time Skip*

It's now 4pm and I'm sitting in an ice bath in the shower room. There's a few other girls in here as-well and we're all having a laugh and chatting. Everyone leaves after a few minutes but because I was the last one in I have another minute left in there so I'm sitting there on my own. I hear the door open and look up to see Keira standing there awkwardly. It's silent for a second.
"I'm leaving now"
"No no, it's ok I was actually just looking for Steph"
"Oh she just left"
"Oh ok thanks, am while your here I was wondering if maybe we could talk later, I mean only if you want" she asks shyly
"Yeah we can I guess"
"Ok" she says and smiles
"I think Steph is taking Kara for a while so you can come to my room if you want"
"Yeah that sounds good" I say and we both smile at each other.
"Ok I'll see you then"
"Yeah" I say as she walk out and I finish my ice bath.
When I'm done I go back up to my room and have a shower to freshen up after training. When I'm out I dry off and put on some joggers, a hoodie and some slides. I don't remember Keira saying what time to come over so I decide to text her.

Lee🤍
I'm just wondering what time should I comer over, is Kara still there.

Kei💕
No she's gone with Steph so come whatever time you want.

Lee🤍
Ok I'll leave now.

I put my phone in my pocket and start walking to Keira's room. When I get there I nock on the door and she answers. "Hi" she says softly
"Hi" i sat back shyly looking at the ground
"Come in" she says and I walk in and sit in the end of the bed and she sits next to me. It's complete silence for a few minutes and we're not even looking at each other. "What are we doing" she says and I sense that she's a little bit hurt.
"I don't know" I say as I lift my head and we look at each other.
"I'm sorry" she says as tears brim her eyes.
"I know" I say softly.
"I don't know what I was thinking, I was so stupid, she just seemed like she genuinely wanted my help, she told me that she was really nervous and I was just trying to comfort her Lee, I swear nothing else happened, you can see the messages if you don't believe me"
"It's fine Keira, I trust you" there's silence for a few more seconds
"Why did you leave Lee" she asks softly. I'm still looking at the ground and I clear my throat before speaking.
"I don't know it just pushed me over the edge"
"Why tho" she says quietly I decide that it's now or never so I just blurt it out.
"Because I was already struggling"
I can feel her eyes burning into the side of my head so I look up at her.
"Why didn't you tell me"
"I didn't want to burden you"
"Don't think like that, you could never" she says as she pulls me into a hug. We're both silent the whole time but I pull away and look at her.
"It's bad kei but I promise you it's not like last time, I'm getting help, I've already spoken to Sarah but I wanted to speak to you as-well to try and resolve all this, I just feel like when we speak we're always holding back and I know that to resolve this we can't do that so I'm telling you what I've been afraid to tell you for weeks now, and it's that I'm not ok and I need help but I'm doing my best to fix this and get the help" I say as I'm now looking at the ground. She doesn't even say anything she just pulls me in and hugs me the tightest she ever has. When we pull away I look at her. "I need you to do the same"
"I already have, the thing I was hiding from you was that I was texting Luce, I promise Lee I've told you everything, I just don't know why it turned out like this" she says sadly
"Because I left, because I'm as a coward and I didn't stay and talk to you and tell you how I felt because I was afraid it would push you away and you'd leave"
She just looks at me sadly.
"Do you think I'd leave"
"We'll I didn't know, I wasn't sure how you were feeling and I was afraid if I dragged you into my problems it would be too much for you and then you'd leave and in all honesty that's why I didn't speak about it, because I was already in such and shit place that if you left I don't think I'd be able to cope with it" I say as tears start to roll down my cheeks. She pulls me into a hug and we stay like that for a few minutes. When we pull away she looks me in my eyes and puts a hand on my cheek.
"I'm not leaving, EVER, I'm always gonna stand by you and I'm always going to be here for you, so in future if somethings bothering you please tell me because I only want to help" I just nod and smile before leaning in to connect our lips. We kiss passionately until air becomes a problem.
When we pull apart Keira gets up and moves her legs either side of mine so she's sitting in my lap. I put my hands around her waist and she puts hers around my neck and we hold each other tightly. We sit like this for a while in complete silence, just embracing each other until my phone starts to ring. I pull it out if my pocket and see that it's Steph so I answer it.
Hi Steph you alright
Yeah I'm fine but Kara is having a bit of a meltdown and she only want you
Ok I'll be over in a minute
Ok see you then
Bye Steph
I hang up and look at Keira
"What's wrong" she asks concerned
"Kara is having a meltdown and she wants me to come over" I say chuckling
"Of course she does" Keira says rolling her eyes. She gets off my lap and we both head to the door.
I feel her hand pull me back so I turn around
"Are we good then" she asks in a hopeful tone
"Yeah, we are" I say as I lean in and kiss her.
We both walk to Steph's room hand in hand and laughing. When we get there I nock and Steph opened the door and we walk in.
"What happened" I ask her
"I don't know she just started crying and when I asked he what was wrong she wouldn't talk and she just kept saying she wanted you so I rang you but she eventually stopped after I gave her my phone to watch peppa pig" I look over and see Kara lying in Steph's bed watching cartoons on a phone so I walk over and sit next to her.
"Hi mum"
"Hello darling" I say as I lean in and kiss her head.
"We're you crying while me and mummy were gone"
"Yeah" she says still not taking her eyes away from the phone screen.
"Why we're you crying, what's the matter" I ask her softly. "Because I was hungry mum" she says and I just laugh. "Well why didn't you tell aunty Steph that" I ask her
"Because I wanted to tell you, can we eat some fruit" she asks innocently and I look over at Steph and Keira and we all laugh.
"Yeah come on let's get some fruit then" I say and we get up and walk to the canteen. On the walk down Keira and Kara go ahead of me and Steph.
"I've obviously missed something" she says smiling at me
"What do you mean" I ask playing stupid
"Well you both landed at the door together and I only rang you and plus yous were holding hands"
I just laugh and say "yeah we're all good now" I look ahead of me and see the two girls walking hand in hand and I just smile. We get to the canteen and all sit down for some food.