Iron will

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Iron will.
That's what I must have,
Standing here,
Fists clenched until scarlet drops cascade down my knuckles
I must have the pain
Flashing steel
Beautiful
Sharper than a knife or a harsh word,
Thrust between my ribs.
I will not bend
I will not allow my hand to drift towards that steely beauty.
So I stand.
Fists clenched until scarlet beads seep from the gashes my nails make.
I will not give in.
I will not go back to my old ways.
The steel sings to me,
Like a deadly harp.
Like a poisonous vine,
Reaching out to clench my heart in an iron grip.
Almost stronger than my pride
But not quite.
I will not let the steel sing to me.
But I need the pain
So I stand,
Iron willed
Digging my nails into my palms until rubies shatter on the floor,
Like the tears that I cry for the beautiful song that sings of
My old ways.

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