Unbreak me

Let go.

A letter to you

A letter I hope I will not send .
I've been so angry. And I just wanted to know did I deserve it .
Had I of wronged you that bad over the years .
Was me walking away the walk of shame ? Am I to blame for it all.
Did I wrong you.
Could you have taken the things you said , the things you did . Had I of done them to you. Would you have waited like I did ?
Would you have tried like I did ?
Would you have healed like I did .
Because see ... I choose to love .
I choose to love on those around me and show them nothing but grace , and lush.
I choose to be soft and I choose to let my mind go .
I choose to not let my scars be the reason I hurt those who did me no wrong.
But I choose to not fall into love .
I give love but I choose not to take it because the one time I did it nearly killed me .
And even as I ran way , it tackles me down held me down , took all it could then pestered me for years until I just couldn't take it anymore .
The lies . The deceit . The continuation of the nightmare . You called loving me. You called being attached to me .
It just replayed .

I'm choosing to walk away .
Completely .
No strings .
No attachments .
I'm choosing to let you go.
Even if you don't let me.

And I pray I never press send .
I pray I never say I love you.
I pray I never ask you why ?
I pray I am not pained when I see you've moved on.
I pray that I can be happy for you .
I pray that I can let go .
I pray that you don't see this letter to you.
Because though I'm speaking to you .
This is for me .
A reminder .
I didn't deserve any of it .
Not in the least .
Not even a little bit.