2000

14. I won't go without you

Ryujin's

"Right, here we have a map about ventilations, the best way to go is through the ventilation of my room, if you go straight and turn left only once, you can get out through the forest behind the hospital."

Chaeryeong, Yeji, and Karina listened to me attentively, following with their eyes where I pointed on the map I had drawn with my studies.

I put myself in the middle when Karina touched Yeji's hand or hugged her, I didn't like their physical contact, and I really didn't know why.

Chaeryeong calculated everything millimetrically as if she had already thought everything out and her intelligence scared me.

"In this forest to a trail if you go north, I played there when I was younger and I know that further on there is a small village, I know they can help you, don't tell what actually happened, just ask for help to them."

"Wait..." Yeji looked at me "You won't come with us?"

"Ryujin, I-" I stopped to think at that moment, "Could I go? But, what if they caught me"

They could get caught too, I couldn't get Yeji stuck again "Don't worry Nini, we'll talk about this later."

"I'm not going without you" her eyes were now pleading as if she was trying to convince me of something I hadn't thought clearly. "Ryuddaeng"

"Don't worry about it, okay" I held her face lightly caressing her cheek "In case that doesn't work out, we have plan B, Chaeryeong's plan. How is the development of the key?"

"I've been leaving it every day on the windowsill, to absorb some kind of source" she threw the beautifully crafted clay at me, it was almost right "Are you sure this key opens all doors?"

"It's the master key, Chaeryeong" I confirmed "You won't be able to leave through the main door, that way you would be caught too easily. The kitchen door is the best solution."

"And when are we going to do that?" Karina asked with that look of hers, that look that I didn't like, she didn't like me at all.

"Three days, three days from now this key will be perfect enough for plan B" I shivered, three days from now would be two weeks, and if Yeji didn't get out in time, she would go through project twenty-two.

"Until then, we have to act as normal as possible."

"Is someone waiting for you, Chaeryeong?"

The woman smiled upon hearing Chaeyoung's question, her vacant eyes filled with tears, and with trembling hands she took off the necklace she was wearing, opening the pendant and showing the picture of a beautiful woman.

"Lia, my fiancé" she showed us "I promised her that I would come back, and she promised that she would wait for me. I receive a letter from her once a month, the longing I feel makes you want to do anything and leave here, for her..."

"You will get out of here, Chaeryeong" I comforted her putting my hand on her shoulder "All of you will get out of here."

"You too, aren't you, Ryujin?"

I ended up not being able to take that question, if I kept looking at her I would burst into tears, so I just pulled her into a warm hug, her face hidden in my chest while her small arms squeezed my waist in that hug, I smelled her hair smiling when she looked at me. I couldn't bear to lose her.

I spent the afternoon thinking about many things if it would be better for me to get away from Yeji so that the goodbye would hurt less if I would run away with them or if I would just see them leave and leave only memories.

That night after dinner, when I went to take a shower, everything I had held onto in that mini-meeting came out, I couldn't breathe, I burst into tears.

I cried with fear, longing, and anxiety, the shower water mixed with my salty tears, which felt like sharp blades tearing my face in many ways, I should never have approached Yeji, it wouldn't be that hard.

Once again she was looking outside when I opened the door, her eyes radiated hope, she was smiling, a smile that I would never see again after three days, why did it hurt so much? Was it normal to hurt so much?

"Hey..." I whispered as she came up to me, bouncing around and clapping her hands short in excitement. Her hug never hurt like that one "I brought this for you"

She held the dark chocolate bar with her eyes shining, like the first time, but she turned around walking under her cross and picking up a paper-mâché rose, so delicate that looked real.

"I made this for you" She looked at me a little embarrassed. My eyes overflowed in a small lake of accumulated tears, I didn't want to cry in front of her, but it was hard to hold my ground as she stood on tiptoe to let a light seal on my lips "Don't cry... I'm not leaving without you."

It felt like she knew what was going on in my head, she could see my fear, she could feel my dread of losing her.

"I couldn't go along, maybe I could and then? How would everything be? Would we really be together afterward? What if they caught us?"

"I'm not going without you, Ryuddaeng"

"I'm afraid, Yeddeong" I delivered what I felt with a voice choked with fear "And what if they catch us?"

"Let's get caught together then"

"No... you can't be stuck here, you can't."

"You also do not"

"I could get killed because of this, Yeji you don't understand."

"I want to die with you then" she didn't seem firm in that sentence, making me stop for a few seconds and just pay attention to our breathing

"If they catch you, I want them to take me with them, if they take you, I want them to take me with them and if they kill you. I want them to kill you too, because I'm not going anywhere without you, Ryujin."

All the hairs on my body stood on end at that very moment, it felt like a load that only she could pass on to me, a good and strange load.

"I'm not going without you, Ryujin"

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