The Enemy of Trade

38

-Evren Black-

"Mitosis and meiosis?"

I shrugged, "Was I wrong?"

My mom huffed a laugh, "Scientifically, no. But you could've just stuck with 'he stopped the bleeding' ."

I started laughing as well. My hands wrapped around the white mug in front of me. The hot cocoa still warm enough to pierce through the porcelain and burn my hands.

My mom sat in front of me with her own mug. But hers was filled with coffee. I could only tell because of how much darker it was than mine.

"Still on track to UCLA?" She looked down.

"It's my third choice now. Even if I haven't sent in my application yet."

She sat forward at that, "Why not?"

I shrugged, "I don't entirely know why." I take a sip from the mug, "There's many different parts to why but there's not something specific holding me back."

"It's your dad, huh?"

My lips turn up a bit, "That's part of it."

"And Aster."

My heart sank a bit. "Maybe."

She sighed. After a moment of silence, she rounded the table and came next to me.

"It's your choice." She said, "Only you can pick it and it's up to you to choose the right one."

I nodded slowly, "I know. It's just, everything has changed so much since you..."

"Since I died." She finished for me, "I know baby." A sniff from her, "Did you know, that day—the day I died—I had so much planned." She spoke quietly, "There was something going on at the hospital that day, like a take your kid to work day. Although , I was the only one who had a kid old enough and interested in going. It was supposed to be a surprise."

I just watched her in awe.

"Remember... remember TJ? Head of Cardio?" I nodded my head, "He was very competitive with the other doctors. He wanted you to love cardio. It was like his mission in life to make you his little mini him." She laughed, "But he saw you with me a few months before in the lab. And he saw how you lit up when I was showing you trauma scenarios." She laughed.

"He had a whole bunch of stuff set up. Even a fake heart that you could pull apart and identify the parts of. God he was more excited than me."

I hadn't even noticed I was crying till I started sobbing.

My mom grabbed my shoulders, turning me to her. One of her hands touched my face and I gasped. How can I feel her?

"What's wrong, my love?" She cooed.

Memories sparked, "TJ." I smiled, "He was the first person to actually look at me like I wasn't some kid who had just watched her mother die." I wiped a tear from my face, "You know how he distracted me while I waited for dad at the hospital?" She shook her head, "He went over your notes with me. He gave me my suture kit to practice during the time I was there. Mom he showed me that same prototype heart that you talked about. The one where you can pull it apart and name each part of it."

She pulled me into her arms and I had never felt more at peace than now.

"Truth be told," she whispered, "He loved you better than me." A laugh from her reminded me that no one, other than my dad, would ever love me more than she did. It's almost psychologically impossible.