Shattered Scars

06

Matteo's POV:

When we first got together, Emil had that take control energy and it was among the hottest things I ever experienced. I could be a bit of a needy brat, but Emil would put me right back in my place (usually in a really hot punishment way).

I think he's trying to go back to that, but I'm not sure he will actually stick to it with the way he's been coddling me. I'm not sure how I feel about it, but if Emil is confident it will help, and so long as it won't make him leave me, I'll try.

The only thing I'm really hesitant on is potentially having sex again, which I of course know Emil won't force me to, but I don't want to be the reason that he isn't able to sustain his desires. I'm also blatantly against going on a walk again and having people stare, but I want to get better... I should face it at some point.

No one will hurt me, but they will stare.

I whine softly and cover myself completely with the throw blanket I'm laying under.

Emil is sitting behind me, reading a book while I rest against him. Originally, I was going to lay on the bed and bury myself with the comforter and sheets, but Emil told, no ordered, me to sit with him.

"What's wrong, pup?" he asks me, setting down his book and touching my chest with his hand.

I shrug, looking up at him and I can tell by his expression that it's not a sufficient answer. "I don't want to go outside," I murmur.

Emil rubs my chest where he's holding me and then kisses the top of my head. "We don't have to go out today, but we will be going out tomorrow morning and then in the evening we are going to shift and go on a run together."

That sounds even worse.

"Can't we just... watch a documentary? And walk around the living room?" I try, but Emil does not crack a smile and it makes me realize that I'm probably pushing it a bit.

"Baby boy, we need to start facing these fears... that couple should not have stared at you, but lots of wolves have scars."

I huff. "But usually they're Alphas who have scars... not Omegas."

"What does it matter?" Emil asks, grabbing my thigh and squeezing gently. "You're beautiful all the same."

I whimper. "But I'm not," I whisper, reaching up and touching the raised skin on my face that has ruined my self esteem. "I used to be beautiful... but now I'm maimed and look disgusting."

"You're gorgeous, my love, even with the marks," Emil repeats. "Now, let's get up, angel. We're not going to sit here and brood all day. How about we go to the pool for a bit? It's nice out today."

I whine again. "But my scars..."

"You can wear a shirt and your swim trunks," Emil says, scooping me up. "I know you like swimming, baby boy."

He's right; I love swimming. Most Omegas do, as it connects us with the moon goddess, according to legend. It's comforting to us, and I used to spend hours in our pool back in Italy when it was nice out. When it was rainy or cold, I would go to the private pool in the city and spend my time there.

Alphas don't like the water that much, so I know this is a big gesture from my mate; he would only ever get in the pool if we were naked. Emil and I would swim naked together back in Italy, but I have not let him see me naked in the light since the attack. This morning was the closest we've been to anything like that, and I'm surprised I didn't break down or try to run away.

"Okay," I murmur, changing in the bathroom.

Emil is naked when I leave the room and my brain short circuits.