Shattered Scars

04

Matteo's POV:

My eyes are kind of painful and crusty when I wake up, which reminds me that I fell asleep crying. I'm curled up at Emil's side, and I can't tell if he is awake or not, but I don't feel like getting up yet so I don't move. I still feel exhausted, despite knowing that I probably got a good amount of sleep.

"I can tell you are awake," Emil whispers, and I don't help myself pretend to be asleep by tensing up like an idiot. "Good morning, baby boy."

I groan and shove my face into the mattress. "Good morning," I mumble, even though I don't want to acknowledge the fact that I'm awake.

"Up, baby boy!" Emil exclaims, and I can tell he's energetic this morning.

It's probably because I opened up a little bit last night, but I don't feel much better. I don't know why my brain made me think that opening up would heal me... I'm still the same upset, pathetic, ugly mess that I was before.

Even if Emil won't admit it, I'm sure he'll get tired of me eventually.

"I just want to stay in bed," I mutter, scowling when he pulls the blankets off of me. "Emil! I just want to rest, please give me the blankets back!"

Emil huffs and I feel arms around me and suddenly I'm being lifted in the air. He carries me to the bathroom and sets me down on my feet.

"You need a shower, pup," he tells me, kissing my forehead and holding my face in his hands. "May I stay with you?"

I feel my breathing get heavier, and unfortunately it has nothing to do with sex or being turned on. I have not been naked in front of my mate since before my body was maimed and ruined for him.

"...I don't know," I whisper, because of course I want to be with my mate, but I'm scared. "Just... don't stare."

Emil hums. "I have an idea," he tells me, closing the blinds on the small window after lighting a couple of candles and putting them on the counter.

The room is dark enough that we can't see too much detail on each other, but we will still be able to navigate the bathroom. It relaxes me a bit; at least he won't be able to see the ugly scars right now.

I'm sure he'll see them eventually... that will be the day he'll realize how disgusting I am.

"May I undress you, baby boy?" he whispers, hugging me and rubbing my back.

I nod, then realize he can't see me because of the darkness. "Yes."

Emil slowly pulls off my shirt that is definitely smells like sweat and I should have changed it earlier. This is the first time I've ever ignored my own hygiene and it has been bothering my inner wolf and I a lot.

My mate does not even comment on it, except for saying that I needed to take a shower, but he didn't say why. He's just perfect and wonderful and I love him so much...

I'll never be able to tell him that because it would hurt me too bad for him to not say it back. My mate is too honest to lie to me and say he loves me when it's not true... there's no way he could love me.

"Get in," Emil says, gently nudging me toward the shower.

I stand under the hot stream of water, closing my eyes and sighing in pleasure as it cascades over me. I don't even notice when Emil gets in, so I jump when his arms lock around me.

"Let me clean you, baby boy," Emil whispers, and I can hear him open a soap bottle.

My eyes are still closed, but I feel him rub a cloth with soap all over my body. Apparently it's really important to wash my butt and my thighs, but I don't argue. My whimpers are drowned out by the sound of the water, thankfully, and if Emil hears them, he doesn't comment on it.