Shattered Scars

26

Emil's POV:

Matias and Everest left me thirty minutes ago to go pick Elias up and bring him here. Even after sitting in the hospital room where my new son is for thirty minutes, wracking my brain, I still don't know what I'm going to tell Elias.

That boy looked at Matteo like he put the sun in the sky. He was reliant on Matteo in a way he didn't necessarily connect with me, even though we do have a good connection.

I'm holding my new baby, sitting back in the hospital bed, feeding him a bottle. He's a cute little thing, and though he has only opened his eyes briefly before falling back asleep, I can see a strong resemblance to Matteo.

I don't know what to name him... Matteo never told me of many names, and I know he doesn't have a family name he wants to use.

There is a knock at the door and Matias enters, holding Elias, followed by his mate. Elias immediately squirm out of Matias' grasp and runs over to me, standing on his tiptoes and trying to see the baby.

He starts signing so quickly that the words slur together, but I definitely pick out "baby" "tiny" "cute" and "what's his name?"

"I havent named him yet," I say, scooting over and leaving a spot for Elias to sit on the bed. "Matias, can you hold the baby for a few seconds?"

Matias nods, and his eyes are misty, which matches his mate's miserable expression. He's probably guessed that I'll have to tell Elias what happened, and that my son will need to be held when I've revealed what happened.

"Where's daddy?" he signs, making tears well in my eyes. "Why are you crying, dad?"

I open my arms. "Come here, pup," I whisper, my voice breaking as Elias climbs into my arms and reaches up to wipe the tears off my cheeks. "Daddy isn't coming home. He got hurt and he..." My words catch in my throat, but I can't just stop and leave Elias guessing. "Daddy's gone, sweetheart."

Elias pulls away and looks up at me with his big, glossy eyes. "Daddy... died?" he signs slowly, as if he's unable to comprehend that word could be used right now.

"Yes, he did," I whisper.

I'm a bit surprised by his ability to understand what death is. I assumed he'd just think Matteo being gone would mean he just disappeared, but Elias is mature beyond his age.

"Why?" Elias signs, tears falling down his cheeks. "We got him oranges and he told me we would watch a movie tonight on the plane."

I can barely hold back a sob and I take a shaky breath to try to calm down. "I'm sorry, Elias. I know, and I wish he was here, too."

He keeps crying, hugging me tightly and shaking as he sobs. He cannot calm down, but I don't blame him.

I stand up, holding him and telling Matias to sit down so the newborn is more secure. I'm still holding my crying son when the doctor enters the room.

"I'm sorry for your loss," the doctor tells me, a sad, knowing look on her face as she shakes my free hand. "I know you were told you could leave tonight, but it is getting late and I feel as though it would be safer for the baby to keep him one more night."

I agree immediately; I'd rather not go back to any room that I shared with Matteo right now anyway.

"Do you want us to stay?" Everest asks. "Or we can take Elias if you need time alone."

Elias clings tighter to me.

"No, he needs me right now," I say, side hugging Everest and Matias. "Matias, I'm sorry I failed your brother. I promised I'd take care of him."