Departure

Chapter 8: Tiny Spec

In that moment I stood there. I stared up at the 10 foot ceiling as it began to set atop me.
I felt it.
I felt it everywhere.
The pain overcame my body.
Every nerve pierced within me.
Then I felt the sharpest pain of all, starting from my torso and shooting up to my head.
It was unbearable.

Then, it was gone.
Then I felt nothing.
But my eyes were open.

Black.
Black nothingness.

Is this death?

But then there was color.
A tiny spec, at first. Seeming to be miles from me.
But I could see it.
It was there.

Then I was standing.
I looked down at the rest of my body, but I saw nothing. If my limbs were there, they were reflecting no light at all.
And somehow, I knew that I could walk.

And run.

I was running. Running to the spec.
I couldn't hear my foot steps.
I couldn't hear anything.
But cold licks grasped my body.
Running, but I didn't stop to breath.
Running, but with no oxygen.

I couldn't breath.

Picking up the speed, I ran straight for the spec. The possibility of reaching it seemed unattainable yet so close to reachable.
But as I ran, I was pulled back.
I felt a force push me from the light.
Strong and evil, this force didn't let me out of its grip.

Let me go.

My head started feeling light.
My energy was draining.
No matter how long I was running, the light didn't seem to get closer.

You can't go on like this anymore.

My feet stumbled to the floor, or what I perceived to be the floor. Everything in my sight was nonexistent.

It's my fault.

The force overtook my limbs, lifting them off the ground.
When it touched me, I felt the absence of heat even more so.

You can't take the blame.

I took a dart back at the spec of light. It seemed farther away then ever.
Shutting my eyes, I waited for my body to give up.

I can't give up.

I opened my eyes and tried to free myself. I couldn't move a muscle.
The force turned my head to the side.
There, I saw myself.

You are not the reason.

I gazed into my reflection. My face was dim, but it was there. My clothes were clean.

But it has to be my fault.

I see myself lift my hands to my neck, although I can't feel myself do so.

You need to let go.

My expression is colorless and apathetic.

I can't.

I try to free my hands from my neck, but the work is wasted.

You need to forgive.

The grip tightened, this time I felt it.

But they counted on me.

They made their own mistakes.

I caused their mistakes!

People make their own choices!

I can never forgive myself.

They do.

My hands then lifted from my throat and pointed left. I turned to see the bodies of a seven individuals. They were aligned side by side. At the end stood a body covered by a sheet. As I stared it, the force dropped me, and I hit the floor.
My vision was fading from the loss of breath.
I gained enough strength to hoist my body off the ground.

The faces were all familiar.

I neared the body with the sheet and placed my hand on it. When it landed on the white cloth, I saw nothing but a black outline of my arm.
Slowly, I pulled the sheet off. Underneath I saw myself again. This time, I was covered in soot and fiery debris.

I forgive you.

A gust of wind slammed against me, shooting oxygen into my lungs. As it blew, I heard a melodious rhythm of blended flutes. The sound grew louder as the wind grew stronger.
My feet were swept off the floor again, but this time, they were soaring horizontally, straight in the direction of the spec of light. As I got closer to the spec, it enlarged. I was able to make out an image of a room. A five star hotel room, to be exact. The same room I checked out for Jenn and I during our honeymoon. I saw an empty bed that lie unmade in the corner.

I was not slowing down.

As soon as I was sure I was going to slam directly into the wall of the room, Jenn walked out from the suite's kitchen and stood in front of my probable destination. She smiled and open her arms wide. I flew directly into them, and we broke through the glass wall.

The impact shook my body, and I woke up in my bed, gasping for air.