I'll Show You

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It felt good to be back in the dorm she shared with her girls. It was already the new year and preparations for their new album were finally in full swing.

A sense of excitement fills her as for the first time in months she uses her key card to open the place she called home for years. The place smells exactly the same. None of the girls have been staying here, all preferring to be in their own homes during the pandemic but the cleaners have kept their shared dorm spotless in their absence. 

Moving back in here even just for a little while truly feels like things are finally going back to normal and Blackpink is finally making progress on this unwanted hiatus.

It also feels a lot better to finally have space from the leader of the biggest 2nd gen kpop group also known as her boyfriend Kwon Jiyong. 

Jennie used to have the biggest crush on him all throughout her trainee days and that crush while simmered still had a place in her heart even after her debut. 

She never dreamed that he would be interested in her. Not in this lifetime at least. He had always treated her as a younger sister, never once had he given her any indication that he had feelings for her but to her and everyone else's surprise he asked her out.

She didn't even think he was serious at first. He had just been released from the military but there had been a change in him, in his personality. She noticed it immediately. He had become more affectionate towards her, showing more interest in her likes than he ever had before. 

It felt like a dream come true and those feelings she had buried all those years ago returned to her with a fury. 

Those first few months felt almost like your typical new couple bliss. She enjoyed spending time with him and getting to know his interests better. They had a lot in common but they had a lot of differences as well. She really thought she was starting to fall in love with him and she could tell that he cared about her as well. 

It has been almost 5 month of them dating but Jennie has come to realize that her dreams of how this would go is nothing like the reality of being in a relationship with someone who used to once be her idol. 

Things have come to a standstill between them for many reasons but one of the main ones as far as he is concerned is her 'fear' of intimacy. 

He has tried many times to push her past what she is comfortable with but despite his efforts she knows she is not ready to fully commit her body to this relationship. 

She understands his frustration with her but being physical with someone is not something thinks she can do just yet and it is not something she would ever take lightly again. There are things she knows she can never tell him, he would never understand. Part of her fears that he might one day use that knowledge against her and that is her biggest fear. 

Jennie wishes things could be different, this is the man she spent years fantasizing about. She told herself, if she was ever given the chance, she would be the perfect girlfriend. He would never have any reason to look elsewhere, but when it came down to it he never made her comfortable enough to go all the way. She learned a long time ago to trust her gut. When something felt wrong, she had the right to say no and while he respected her decision she felt as though he resented her for it. 

Sometimes when she thinks about how their relationship has progressed it feels like they are moving at two different paces. She supposes with him being so many years her senior it is understandable that he may be in a different place in his life. He has much more experience than her and he does want different things out of their relationships but he also has expectations for his partner that Jennie doesn't think she can ever fulfill.