I'll Show You

Chapter 10

Disclaimer: this storyline is fiction. None of this depicts actual events that occurred.

*****

Jennie loves that moment right before she wakes up, when the wispy cobwebs in her brain thread together to form a coherent ball of consciousness. 

It’s the ultimate WTF moment. Disorienting and foggy, with half her brain still lost in whatever dream she was having, this time the dream featured a certain male Idol.

But something is different about this morning. Her body feels warmer than usual, and she becomes aware of the sweetest smell. 

Strawberries maybe? No, cherries. Definitely cherries. And something tickles the bottom of her chin, something soft and hard at the same time. 

A head? Yup, there’s a head nestled in the crook of her neck. And a strong arm draped across her stomach. A warm leg hooked between her thighs.

She can feel his skin…on her skin, and the dread starts to set in. Her eyes open sharply and she can't seem to catch her breath.

He is snuggled up against her. Jennie on her back with both her arms wrapped around him. His arms are wrapped tightly around her waist holding her tight to his body. 

She slowly starts to remember everything that happened but she didn't want to believe it. She slept with him. She holds in the sob that starts to build in her chest and instead tries to get out of his strong hold. 

He groans as she continues to extract herself from him. Groggily he lifts his head from her chest and stares at her in shock. 

"Jennie?" He says in his sleep induced voice. 

"Please let go of me." 

He is still not moving, trying to make sense of what was actually happening. There is no recognition in his eyes. Does he not remember what happened? What they shared together?

Jennie cannot stop the tears this time as they start to roll down her cheeks. "Jennie… Did we?" 

The pain that rips through her chest at his question is unbearable. How could she have been so foolish? She gave herself to a man she has only known for 3 months. A man she was not even in a relationship with. Not even two weeks after she broke up with her long term boyfriend.

And he doesn't even remember any of it. Her first time. The most vulnerable moment in her life. He doesn't even remember it. Something that was supposed to be special. She just threw it away for a drunken one night stand.

The fact that he didn't remember made what they shared insignificant, made HER feel insignificant. 

That feeling of self doubt and low self worth took her back to a very dark place. A place where she felt dirty, used. Where she felt ashamed and worthless. Where she felt like it was her fault and she was asking for it. 

The darkness started to close in around her and her mind took her back to that place. To him. 

The sobbing comes freely now and Taehyung looks at her with despair and guilt. "Shhh, don't cry Jennie. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." 

"Did I hurt you?" He asks with so much worry but Jennie shakes her head. Her reassurance doesn't ease his tense body as he looks at her with worry and hopelessness. Her crying is uncontrollable. 

"I don't know how I could have been so reckless. We didn't even use protection." She manages to get out between her tears.

His eyes widened with shock as though he only now realized the consequences. The tears start to fall more freely from her eyes now and she holds her head in pain but also shame.