𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐍 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 ↺ erhal

i. lost the battle

His Halime. She was either too quiet or too loud. She was too sensitive or too cold hearted. There was no in between for her. It was either all or nothing. There were days when Ertugrul would think about her mysterious departure. Was she unhappy with him? She couldn't be. He had done everything in his power to make her happy.

❝Baba!❞ A shrill voice rang and he knew who it was. Who other than Gunduz? The only memoir of Halime left with him.

❝Come in, son.❞ As soon as he muttered these words, he saw the little boy leaping with joy, as he huddled on his lap. To be honest, he was not that little anymore. But Ertugrul treasured him. Not because he was his child. He knew he could have a dozen of children other than Gunduz. But he was special because he was their child. Ertugrul & Halime's child.

❝Grandma misses you, Baba,❞ the little Gunduz rested his head on his father's chest and Ertugrul's heart twitched. Just like Halime. ❝She wants you to forgive her.❞

Forgive her? Ertugrul wanted to. He missed his mother too. But he could not forget what she had done. He had promised Halime that he would always be faithful to her. That he'd never let any other woman be in their tent. But he did. He committed what could be called the gravest of sins in love. And his mother made her do so.

❝Baba misses Grandma too, Gunduz,❞ He confessed to his son. ❝He misses her too.❞

❝And Ana?❞ Gunduz perked his head up. ❝Do you hate Ana for leaving us and forgetting about us?❞

Ertugrul fumed. Hayme Ana was the one who was poisoning his son's mind that Halime had abandoned them. She hadn't. Ertugrul believed in his wife. He knew that rumours were rumours. Halime didn't love anybody. She loved him. Only him.

❝No, son,❞ He caressed his son's hair lightly. ❝Ana hasn't left us and hasn't forgotten about us.❞

❝I know that, Baba,❞ Gunduz let out a toothy grin and the grin reminded Ertugrul of Halime. It was the same grin she'd give him when he'd caught her doing something which he clearly had spoken not to do. His wife was a rebel and he loved her rebellion. Her rebellious nature used to keep him in check.

He craved the simplest of love with her. Gazing into each other's eyes. Cuddling. Lying on the mattress together. Galloping on their horses. That's all he could ever ask for.

Ertugrul Bey was not the same man anymore. Surely he was the Uc Bey now, but he was only a shell of a person who used to love someone. His soul had been sucked out the moment she left.

Her heart twinged. She was afraid of the dark and the lonely ambience of the cave made her heart sit still. How much time has passed? A year or two? It reminded her of the time when she had been a prisoner of the Crusaders along with her Baba and brother. But Ertugrul was not here to save her now, was he?

❝Halime Sultan.❞

That screechy voice. Her heartbeat fastened. Why had he come here?

❝Give her some water.❞

For once, she felt grateful of her captive. She was so thirsty that her neck felt like it has been wrapped in sand. When she was offered water, she hurriedly drank it all.

❝Aw,❞ her captive cooed. ❝Was Halime thirsty?❞

❝Halime Sultan!❞ She growled at him. ❝My name is Halime Sultan.❞

❝You would not have been in this position, Halime Sultan,❞ He traced her cheek with his dagger and she flinched. ❝If only you told me what I'm seeking.❞

❝Never!❞ She spat. ❝I'll never ever betray Ertugrul!❞

She would never. He trusted her secrets with her. And she would rather die than to betray her love.

❝But he had betrayed you, Halime,❞ He let out a chill arising laugh. ❝He had remarried, my darling.❞

The words left a hollow pit on her stomach. No. This couldn't happen. Ertugrul loved her. He was hers. He had promised her he'd never let any other woman enter his life unless it's their daughter.

❝You are lying.❞

❝Why would I lie to you? I'm only conveying the truth. I guess this is one of the reasons why he never came for you. Must be hard to take out time.❞

❝Who?❞ Her words were low. ❝Who did he marry?❞

❝Aslihan Hatun of Cavdar Tribe.❞

There. All the physical torture that she had undergone couldn't overpower this pain. She had lost. She had been broken. She felt homesick but she didn't know where home was either. Home was Ertugrul's arms. But there was someone else in his arms.

She had lost the battle. She had lost her Ertugrul.

People always referred to their love as big as the earth, but for her, her love was like a coin. It wasn't much, but it was all that she had. And he threw it on the ground as if it was nothing for him.

She could remember it all well. The lingering glances that Aslihan Hatun used to gave Ertugrul. The way she used to smile at him. But never for once, she doubted Ertugrul. Because she knew he loved her. But was she right? If he really loved her, how could he marry another woman?

Ertugrul and her were black and white. So different, yet so similar. Now she had no one to balance her out and no one to love.