𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐍 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 ↺ erhal

iii. her over me

The darkness. The angst. The physical pain. The ache in her heart. The ache in her soul. She knew that it won't go away. It won't. So she lied there on the mattress, waiting for the ache to somehow go away. She didn't want to open her eyes. She couldn't. She didn't want to see Ertugrul's happy face. She was a petty woman and she knew that she wouldn't be able to stop herself from slapping Aslihan, who was a snake in her own sleeve.

❝Halime, I know you're awake.❞

Busted. With a grimace, Halime opened her eyes to see a frowning Mustafa. Her heart warmed at the fact that he was still here. Not only did he rescued her along with a group of Selcuk soldiers, he was still here. Unlike someone.

❝Water,❞ She croaked out and he rushed towards her with a glass of water. She gulped the water in a single breath.

❝Call my son please, Mustafa. I need to see him.❞

And he did. A few minutes later, he came back with a leaping in joy Gunduz and her heart swelled. Her son! How much her eyes had ached to see him, to hug him. Her lifeline.

❝Ana!❞ Gunduz cried and hugged his mother tightly, sobbing uncontrollably. Halime's heart wretched.

❝My baby,❞ She cooed at him, withdrawing him from the hug and letting him sit beside her. ❝I'm sorry, baby.❞

❝I missed you so much, Ana!❞ The little boy was sobbing yet smiling. ❝Now, you're back!❞

❝I missed you more, my lamb,❞ She had tears down her eyes too. ❝I'll never let myself be separated from you again.❞

Mustafa cleared his throat and she realised that he was still there. ❝You didn't call for your husband, hm? You should. He was a crying mess when he saw you.❞

She couldn't. He had a wife and a life to deal with. And moreover, even if he still loved her, he'd clearly not want her now with a face full of scars when he could have the chance to stare at the moon like face of Aslihan.

❝Gunduz,❞ She turned towards him. ❝Inform your Baba that your Ana has woken up and she's resting, will you?❞

❝Of course, Ana!❞

When he left, Mustafa turned towards Halime. ❝You're mad at him.❞

She didn't even had the energy to lie. But she didn't want to ruin the Uc Bey's reputation. ❝No. I'm not.❞ Lies. ❝I never thanked you though. Thank you for staying by my side.❞

❝It was nothing for me, Halime,❞ He looked into her eyes. ❝You do know that I will do everything in my power just to see you smile.❞

But what if I don't want you to do that? What if I want a completely different man to do that?

It was at this moment that Ertugrul chose to grace them with his presence and his hawk like eyes glared at Mustafa. Halime sighed. His eyes met hers and instantly all the anger from his eyes wiped out. Instead desperation filled his eyes. She turned her eyes away.

❝Halime.❞

❝Ertugrul Bey.❞

❝I didn't get the chance to be introduced to this man,❞ Ertugrul had a polite smile on his face but Halime could see behind his facade. He was throwing daggers at Mustafa who was oblivious to his glares and bowed at him.

Well, Ertugrul Bey, your opinions don't matter. Thank you very much.

❝This is Mustafa, one of the military commanders of the Selcuk Empire and Sultan Aladdin's trusted militant.❞

❝And my friend,❞ She added.

Ertugrul jerked his head up. If looks could kill, Mustafa would have already been dead. ❝Pleased to meet you, Mustafa Bey. Can you please excuse us? I need some alone time with my wife.❞

Halime closed her eyes. She certainly didn't want to be alone with Ertugrul. She didn't know how to not miss him. It seemed that he had taken up a permanent residence in the place that used to be her heart.

❝My Halime,❞ Ertugrul rushed towards Halime but she stopped him with a wave of dismissal.

❝Ertugrul Bey, please,❞ She tried to keep her voice calm. ❝Please stay away from me. Please for the sake of my shattered and exhausted heart, stay away from me.❞

❝Is it about Aslih—❞

❝DON'T,❞ She interrupted him with a cry. ❝Don't take her name in front of me. I want to do nothing with both of you. I want to do nothing.❞

And tears dropped down her face. She had been broken. Broken by the one man who she loved more than anything else. She found herself looking for him everywhere. But while she was remembering him all the time, he was memorizing someone else. Aslihan.

Ertugrul sucked a loud breath. His face contorted with pain. She wanted to run her fingers across his hair, to caress his face. To kiss his forehead.

❝I. . . I am. . . .I'm sorry, Halime.❞

❝Go away, Ertugrul! I don't want to see your face.❞

❝Halime please, don't do this to. . .me.❞

The desperation in his voice ached her. After all this time, he was still a part of her. But his actions proved his words didn't mean a thing.

❝You chose her. You chose her over me,❞ She wiped her tears. ❝It was all a matter of choice. The moment you gave up was the moment you chose to lose what you had with me. So don't you dare come back and say you didn't mean to break what you promised you wouldn't.❞