He missed his wife. Period. He hated feeling weak but what he hated the most was to act as if his wife's disappearance didn't matter to him. It did. A lot. He couldn't tell if he loved her the first moment he saw her out in the woods, or if it was t...
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Ertugrul had loved only two women in his life. Only two. Hayme Ana and Halime Sultan. And it was an irony that both the women were out of his life. Hayme Ana because he couldn't forget what she made him do. He couldn't. And Halime because she was too far away, out of his reach.
But now he had to make a space for Aslihan Hatun in his heart. He had to. After all, the way he had seen her crying saddened her. What was her fault? Just because she married a man whose heart was with someone else?
Ertugrul Bey was not unjust. He would make Aslihan happy even though it meant suffering himself. He had spent two years of his life as a walking shell. Now it was the time to make things right.
❝Aslihan.❞
The said woman's head jerked up as she stood to give a glass of water to him. He smiled at her and sat down on the mattress and motioned her to sit too. The mattress sunk under their combined weight together and Ertugrul realised how bad it felt. To be on the same mattress with a woman who wasn't her.
❝Yes, Bey.❞
❝Ertugrul,❞ His voice was raspy. ❝You can call me Ertugrul, Aslihan. You're my wife.❞
❝Hardly, Ertugrul Bey, hardly,❞ Aslihan's lips quivered and he felt guilty. ❝It's been two years of our marriage and never once had you shown me even the tiniest bit of affection! I get it that you love her, then why did you marry me at all?❞
❝I. . . I apologize, Aslihan,❞ Ertugrul tried to lower his voice. ❝I apologize for my negligence. Would you like to give me a second chance? I promise I won't ruin it.❞
A smile tugged on her lips and he smiled back too. So what if he couldn't love her? He could at least try to be friendly with her.
The next day, Ertugrul Bey galloped on his horse with Gunduz riding on the same horse and Aslihan behind him in her own horse. He had promised them that he'd show them around and maybe even teach Gunduz archery. The little boy had always wanted to learn archery, just like his mother used to do. Ertugrul turned behind and saw a genuine smile on Aslihan's face.
He should have been happy too, right? After all, his wife and son were happy. They were beaming with joy.
But his heart.
He was doing his favourite chore. Horse riding. But he felt so uncomfortable because she didn't say the words or didn't smile that way or didn't smelt like the woman his heart belonged to. He was homesick for arms that didn't want to hold him.
But how do you let go of a person who feels like home?
The answer is : you don't. You can't.
And what hurted him the most was that they never really even said goodbye. They just kind of ended.
❝Baba, that's Ana!❞
He was jolted out of his thoughts by the cry of Gunduz and he jerked his head up to see a rider galloping down his horse with a wrapped woman behind his back. The woman seemed to be unconscious but Gunduz would never lie.
