Down with the Plot (Naruto Various x Fem! Modern! Reader)

The Assassin of the Milk

~In which Kakashi won't let you commit Dazai'~

A/N: Everyone.. I have an announcement. This is the EIGHTH draft of this chapter. EIGHTH. Why, you may not ask? My best friend, Writer S. Block. Because of Writer, I have had numerous notable brain deaths caught on paper, including, but not limited to; 
- Kakashi and Y/N discussing eating sand (Yes, DSMP fans, it IS what you think it is)
- A really creepy nursery rhyme (Sung by Y/N is PERFECT PITCH.. Totally)
- Sasuke falling off the boat (He was pisssedd)
- Teletubbies. (That's all I'm going to say) 

Please help me. 

^^^Recap^^^

Out of nowhere, Naruto whips out a kunai and uses it to stab his poisoned hand. "Why am I so different!? Why am I always- UGH!" Naruto growls in silent fury.

Sakura takes a few steps towards him. "Naruto! Stop that!" She pleads, "What do you think you're doing!?"

"I worked so hard to get here! Pushing myself until it hurts! Training alone for hours.. Anything to get stronger to reach my dream! I will never back down and let somebody else rescue me. I will never run away, and I will not lose to Sasuke." Naruto declares, "Upon this wound, I make this pledge! Bridge builder, I'll complete this mission and protect you with this kunai knife! A real Ninja never gives up, and neither will I! Don't you guys worry about me, I'll be fine! Now let's go!" Naruto finishes, as you whoop, whistle, and clap.

"Uh, Naruto.." Kakashi says, "That was really cool how you removed the poison and all, but if you loose any more blood, you're going to die.."

Naruto begins sweating profusely with an 'Oh, damn, he's right' expression on his face.

"NO, NO, NO!! I'M TO YOUNG TO DIEE!!"

^^^Present^^^

After *definitely not* leaving the two demon brothers tied to a tree, you all continue on your journey towards the Land of Waves. The farther we traveled, the denser the fog surrounding us became. The sun was hardly visible through the cloud cover, its golden rays becoming a thing of memory. As your little group stops at a dock, you see the ferryperson already awaiting your arrival. 

Boarding the boat, you sit next to Sakura on the left side, with Sasuke and Kakashi to the right of you. In front of you is Naruto, with Tazuna in the back. The ferryman begins to pull away from the shore as you begin to sing slightly beneath your breath to ease your nerves. You've never been the biggest fan of water since.. Well, since then. 

(A/N: Guess what everybody! We're doing a ✨Tragic Backstory✨)

(A/NN: No, you do not have a say in this.)

^^^Flashback^^^ 

(TW- Death, Car Crash, Drowning, Severe injury, Blood )

"Mom? Dad?" Your shaking voice could only just be heard, nearly drowned out by the distant sirens. "Where are you guys?" 

They said they were right behind me..

Bubbles rose and popped on the surface of the lake, stemming from the broken window of the car laying on the lake floor below. 

Your family had been driving peacefully alongside a steep hill when your father fell asleep at the wheel. 

Just that one second, just that one moment, was all it took for all hell to break loose. His head hit the car's steering wheel, setting off the horn. Startled, he jerked awake and yanked the steering wheel to the left, sending them hurtling through the barriers placed at the edges of the road, stopping anyone driving by from falling into the lake below.