Sour Grapes | HoonSuk [✓]

05

It has been almost a month since the first time I saw Jihoon at the cafeteria. And still. No progress about that.

Seriously. What am I scared about? It's just like make a new friend. But this friend I have a different feeling toward them. Is that why I'm scared about it? Because I already realized about my feeling?

Or because I don't want him to notice my feeling toward him? What is it? Did I afraid to get hurt. Yes. I am afraid to get hurt. Why should I tried if I will get hurt?

"I'm going to have a discussion for a while. If you're bored, you can come and stare at your favorite boy," Junkyu said almost whispering.

I turned at him. He's making a signal with his eyes showing that Jihoon is there. I can see Jihoon talking to Doyoung not far from where we're standing at. Wow! This is the closest distance between me and Jihoon since the first time I saw him.

Keep it cool, Choi Hyunsuk. You're not going to show any feeling. You're cool. You're cool. You don't care about anything. I tried to put a spell on myself.

"You're coming or not?" Junkyu asked.

"I'll come in a bit. I need to do something first. And I actually need to go to the library too," I told him.

"Okay then. If anything, just text me," Junkyu said. "I'm going first,"

"Alright. Bye," I said. I just watched Junkyu walked toward the two and the three of them go to the library. Look. He didn't even notice me here.

So why am I trying so hard not to act cool. I feel embarrassed by my own act. Choi Hyunsuk, you're stupid.

It feels like it's hard for me to reach him. Not because he's being too far or anything. But it's my heart that feels like he's hard to be reached.

I sighed. I look at the time on my phone. I'll go into the library after 15 minutes. Yes. 15 minutes is long enough.

I want to look at him. No. No. I need to wait.

"What are you being so pouty about?" Seungyoon hyung asked.

"Eh? Hyung. What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I was going to the library. But I saw you here. So I approached you first," Seungyoon hyung said. "And why are you looking troubled like this?"

"I don't really sure myself. Why am I acting like this?" I stated. "Why it felt like it's so hard for me to decide things. And why I felt unnecessarily worried and scared about things,"

"Yah! Do you have a someone you like already?" Seungyoon hyung asked sounding so happy. Is that the symptoms of liking someone?

"And why are you sound so happy while asking me that?" I asked him back.

"No. Never mind. Just I can't believe it. My lil bro already grown up," Seungyoon hyung wiped away his invisible tears. "Did I know who this lucky person is? When are you going to confessed?"

"Is that person lucky?" I asked. "Did liking someone means that I need to confess my feeling?"

"So, it's just a crush?" Seungyoon hyung asked.

"Crush?" I asked. Is it?

"Yah! Kang Seungyoon what are you doing?! Don't you said that you're going to find that book?!" Jinu hyung smacked Seungyoon hyung's back as soon as he arrived.

"Yah! Why are you acting so brutal like this?" Seungyoon hyung asked. "Hyunsuk-ah, I need to go first. If you have any concern, you can always talk to me, okay?"

I just nodded.

"Bye Hyunsuk," Jinu hyung said as both of them walked away.

Okay how long has it been? I looked at my phone. 5 more minutes. Ah! I don't care. I want to see him.

I walked into the library. As always, I saw Jihoon's face first. Jihoon studying look so cool. While Doyoung in the other hand look really smart and seems like he's the one who's leading the discussion. And there's Junkyu who looked like he wants to end the discussion session as soon as possible. Typical Kim Junkyu.

I walked toward a shelf where I can still look at Jihoon's face. I'm lucky that it's the sport genre. I glanced at Jihoon once a while. But then, I saw a book that I've been searching for.

I've been looking for this book for a long time since it's not being sold anywhere anymore. I know that there's a copy of that book here in this library but whenever I tried to find it, there's always not available because someone always borrowed this book.

But maybe today is my lucky day. I can read this book now. But this book is on the top of the shelf. Can I actually reach it?

But even if I stretch my arms a little longer

Just like me toward Jihoon. I can look at him. But I can't reach him. Why because I don't want to find a ladder to climb on.

Even if there's a ladder, I'm too scared to climb on it. So I tried to reach it by my own.

I can't reach it even if I lift my heels

Because I'm not really that tall. I'm just an average height that I can't reach it.

The same problem with Jihoon. Because I'm just an ordinary. He won't even notice me. And why am I comparing this book with Jihoon? I must be out of my mind. I shook my head.

I took out my phone. Trying to ask Junkyu to help me. But I might be bothering him with his discussion. So I just forget about it. I took a random book and sit near to this shelf. Trying to guard the book on this shelf so I can ask Junkyu to get it for me after he done with the discussion.

I put my phone on the table. I got a notification that the people I'm following posted new stories on Instagram. And Jihoon's username is one of them.

I quickly open the application to see his story update. It's short video that he took in this library. It's very recent. 1 minute ago. He also tagged Junkyu and Doyoung with a hashtag, #studytime #discussiontime.

My eyes widened as I saw myself in that video. I was in the back looking at the upper shelf. Did he noticed me there? No, he won't. I was somehow being there because I was trying to steal glances at Jihoon but found a book that I've been looking for but I can't reach it so I just look at it. At that same time, Jihoon took the video by chance.

It's just a coincidence. Don't get your hope up, Choi Hyunsuk.

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