Sour Grapes | HoonSuk [✓]

19

"Hey. Jihoon. I have something to tell you," I said. "But not here,"

"Why not?" Jihoon looked around. "There's no one here. Just tell me. What is it?"

"Okay. But first you have to promise not to say anything, just listen until I'm done," I said. "Promise?"

"Promise," Jihoon said. I took a deep breath. I've been preparing myself for this. I can do this.

"Park Jihoon. I like you. Like I like you more than just friend. I've been staring at you for afar for quite a time before we actually being friends. But you never actually noticed me. I just want you to know that I have a feeling toward you. I'm not forcing you to date me or something. I've been trying so hard to hide this feeling but I don't think I can do it anymore. So I just want to let you know about it," I said.

Jihoon didn't give me any respond. I can't really read his expression. But he just stared at the table in front of us without saying anything for quite a while.

"You know.. I liked someone else," he said after being silence for a while.

"I know," I said. "Junkyu, right?"

Now he looked genuinely shocked. He looked at me with his both eyes wide open.

"How did you know?" He asked.

"I kind of get that feel that it might be that," I said.

"But I'm really sorry. I don't know if we can stay the way we are. Because, I can't accept your feeling. But you know that I have a crush on Junkyu and you're Junkyu's close friend," he sighed. "I really thought that it will be a good idea to be friend with his cool friend so he'll look at me,"

Why is it hurt? I thought I've prepared myself for this. I close my eyes for a while and look back at Jihoon. He's not looking at me the way he used to. I'm just a tool to get closer to the one he like. I should've knew that from the start.

But why I can't stop myself but to like him? I've told myself that I'm not going to getting hurt like this. But I just did something that hurt me so easily.

"You know. Things will get awkward between us.. So I feel like we should distance ourselves a bit," Jihoon suggested.

"Yah! Why did you say that to Hyunsuk? It's not like I like you or anything. If you're gonna distancing yourself, stop talking to me. I don't want to talk to someone who hurt my friend," Junkyu who suddenly appeared said.

"Kim Junkyu! How dare you say that to Jihoon. Apologize!" Haruto who also suddenly said.

"Don't shout to my friend you idiot!" Yoshi scolded Haruto.

"Don't raise your voice to my friend!" Jeongwoo shouted.

"Stop shouting to my friends," Yedam said.

"Guys stop shouting to each other," Asahi said.

"Yah! Asahi said stop shouting!" Jaehyuk said before turned back to Asahi. "Do you want me to stop being friend with them?"

"Oh my gosh. I should've just stay in Japan," Mashiho slapped his forehead.

"Yah. Why are you guys shouting to each?" Junghwan asked.

"I shouldn't come here," Doyoung said before walked out.

"Hey! Wait for me, Kim Doyoung!" Junghwan said before following Doyoung. And why are things getting out of control now?

"Choi Hyunsuk," I turned at the voice that called my name. I see myself. Eh? "You shouldn't let him know how you feel toward him. You'll just make this peaceful circle turn into chaos,"

I feel my body falling down as 'myself' pushing me so hard.

And I woke up. I blinked for a few times before sitting straight on my bed. Eh? Did I sleep on my bed yesterday? I opened my phone. There's a chat message from Jihoon.

- Good morning, Choihyun
- I carried you to your bed last night because you fall asleep when we watched the movie together
- I've prepared you breakfast. It's in the microwave
- And I borrowed your hoodie
- I have a morning class and the class after the morning class and more classes so we might can't meet at the campus today ㅠㅠ
- I'll call you later

I sighed as I saw that messages. So, that was just a dream. And Jihoon still didn't know that I have a feeling toward him, right? He's acting normal I guess.

What should I do? I can't think straight. After staying on my bed, sorting my thoughts, I get up and getting ready for my afternoon class.

That weird dream really make me overthinking about everything. What should I do? What shouldn't I do? I don't want to be the source of a problem to anyone. Then, is keep it by myself will be the best thing I can do?

"Are you okay, Choi Hyunsuk?" Yoshi asked right after our class ended. "You don't look like your mind is with you. What are you thinking about? What's bothering you?"

"Nothing. I just have a weird dream last night. I just can't stop thinking about it," I said.

"Dream? About what?" he asked. Should I tell him about it? No. I shouldn't. It will just adding more problems to me and probably everyone. 

"I can't remember," I said.

"How can you keep thinking about your dream that you can't remember?" Yoshi asked while chuckling.

"That's why I've been thinking about it. Because I can't remember," I said, playing along.

"It's just a dream. Maybe you've been thinking too much before you go to sleep. But it doesn't mean that dream is what will actually happening. Your mind might just make up the possible scene based on how you feel and thinking about the things you've been thinking about," Yoshi said. I looked at him, disbelieve. Sometimes, words that come out from Yoshi's mouth can make me impressed. "What?"

"No. Nothing," I said. 

So, that dream might because of what I've been thinking before I go to sleep? But I don't even remember how I fall asleep. Wait! But I was with Jihoon last night, watching the movie. Probably because I've been thinking about Jihoon and my feeling toward him, right?

Yoshi said that the dream might not be true but what if it come true? What if Jihoon will stop being friend with me?

I'm not willing to lose Jihoon as my friend. I can just keep this feeling by my own. But I don't want to stop being Jihoon's friend. It's complicated. Why thinking is so hard? 

"Hyunsuk-ah~~" Junkyu called me. I turned at Junkyu who's approaching us with his small run. Cute.

"Oh. Kim Junkyu," 

"Jihoon forced me to be in his pair again. Please stop him from bothering me. I want to pair with Mashiho but because he announced that I will be his pair, the Professor already recorded us as a pair," Junkyu reported. "Mashiho paired with Yedam. Now I'm sad,"

"And where's Jihoon? Yedam and Mashiho?" I asked. Because they took the same class as Junkyu.

"They probably doing their assignment," Junkyu said. "I'm here for lunch. Let's go,"

"What about your assignment?" I asked. Junkyu already pulled my hand toward the cafeteria.

"I can do it while eating. Let's go. I'm hungry," Junkyu said.

I just followed him. Well, this is how it should be. I used to just be with Junkyu, Yoshi, Yedam and Asahi. I can't let my feeling toward Jihoon changed my peaceful routine. So let's just not.

Maybe it's not the time for me yet

°°°

A/N- Guess how many chapters left? Anyway, enjoy and have a nice day! Thank you for reading and supporting.