Five years earlier..
"You're nothing but a freak, no one will ever love someone like you." Collin growled in my face. I flinched pushing myself back against the lockers. His eyes full of fury making me shrink back more. Turning my face away from him but that made him grab my face, making me face him. "Nobody will ever love someone like you, get that through your head. Danny is cheating on you." Iris grinning evilly. Was that true? They are lying. They had to be. Danny would never do that to me.
"Why do you think we know about you and him? You thought it was a secret? Nope, you were wrong." Iris licked his lips, pushing Collin to the side to face me. "He's seeing me.. All night long. So back off!" with one last shove I saw as they both walked away without a look back. The back of my tormentors. The backstabbers, they once were my best friend now they push me down every chance they could get. I wanted to cry but I felt as though tears had run out of my eyes. I could no longer find the strength.
With pain filling my body, I sucked it up, using the lockers to help me up. Groaning from the pain in my stomach but gaining the strength to walk from the school. I had missed the bus so it was another walking day for me. I wasn't too far which was great. It also was not as cold, it is March. I hated the cold, walking in the cold with a beaten body hurt so badly.
Once home my parents were not here, but than again, why would they? I was the imperfection in their little dollhouse of life. Everything should be perfect. I wasn't perfect. I was nothing and I would amount to nothing. That's what I heard even in my dreams. There was nothing for me, I had no future. They told me how much they wished I was never born, at times I wished I wasn't. They used to love me, they used to show me love but now love was something rare in this family. This broken picture family.
I smelt the cigarette that I lit up, I once hated the smell of it. I hated that people threw away their life smoking like it was their air. But now I wanted to through away my life. No longer did I care. Danny was the only one keeping me going but.. Could it be true? I took cigar, inhaling deeply. Loving the feeling it brought to my lungs. It consumed me fully. I wanted to roll up a joint but I had failed to go to the usual spot to get my high. Now I had to suffer through the physical pain.
Junior year was horrible, just pure hell for me. I couldn't wait until I graduate from high school. I could be on my own. Forgetting about my tormentors that seemed to like making my life pure hell. Even when I was at home they found a way to always get to me. They just seemed to really have something against me. For who I am. I had no idea what I had done to deserve it. Just one day I went to greet them at our usual spot and they snapped at me. That was the first hit I have ever received in my entire life. Then it all went downhill from that.
Opening up my phone I read through all the messages I got. Somehow my number got out again and now I was being called names and insults were being thrown at me once again. From numbers I have never seen before. Some I already knew because they were constantly telling me how unworthy to be alive I was. I felt tears threatening to fall but I did my best to hold it in. I've been so strong for too long. I couldn't beat it, I couldn't stand it. I took the lit cigarette and burned my neck with it. I hissed at the pain but it felt like a great relief. I was alone in this life with nothing but pain. The only one who stood by me was Danny. I smiled small at the thought of him. I gave Danny a call. "Hello Danny?" Danny was my boyfriend of six months. He promised he loved me that wonderful night. And I know he does. He shows it to me every night.
"Oh hey Timothy." Danny answered with a sigh.
"I was wondering if you'd like to go out tonight?" I asked nervously. Danny took a while before he was finally answering me when I called his name again. Maybe he could make my day better, surely it couldn't get any worse.
"I- would like to but-" he moaned lowly. Please don't let it be that Iris was actually telling the truth. Please don't let my worst nightmare come to life. Danny was all I had at this point. If he really was cheating on me I don't think I could handle it.
"D-Danny?" I whispered. He moaned a little louder, it seemed like he was no longer control of the phone because I heard one last thing that broke my heart all over again.
"See I told you." Iris whispered. I heard Danny panting in the background. My heart broke. That was what killed me. It killed my emotions. I was only in high school, that much I knew but I could only take so little love. Too much pain. It consumed my everything. Not everyone is meant for happy endings, I think I am one of them. They all say it gets better but it doesn't. Only the lucky chosen get a better future. Me? I don't think it'll ever get better for me. I don't think I'll ever recover from the pain I feel now. But who knows, I can't see the future.
