Written Among The Stars.

Chapter 17 - Mind your own business.

Yousaf's wedding was also done with now. She had nothing to look forward to anymore. Things seemed dull and bleak ahead. She was getting lost in the daily grind of work. Her life had become so monotonous. Everyday, she would wake up, have a little breakfast and then left for office with him. All this while, they barely talked to each other.

Then, she would spend the day at the office, working and just talking to him about work once in a while. After coming home, she would have lunch and tea with his mother and then retired to her room until he returned. It was so boring. There was no noise in this house. Nobody talked much to each other. She sometimes felt trapped here because she truly wasn't happy with all this arrangement. No matter what happened between them, she wished that he would open up a little to her or acknowledge her presence in his life as a life partner because even if he denied it and even if she was his wife just on paper, she was his life partner and they had their whole life in front of them. She sometimes wondered if they would ever get friendly with each other. That seemed like a distant and long lost dream right now.

After dinner, Aaban was already laying down when she entered the room. He had a hard day at office and already lost his temper.

"Did you pray?" She asked, grabbing his attention.

"Mind your own business." He spoke, ignoring her.

"Ammi [Mother] told me to ask you." She clarified.

"I will tell her myself. Don't try to get involved in my personal matters."

Haneen couldn't take it anymore.
"You, not praying, is not your personal matter."

"It is. Don't lecture me. You have no right." He barked.

"I have all the rights. I am your wife." She shouted angrily.

"I don't consider you one. Better stay in your limits."

"What is wrong with you?" She yelled at him, taking out her frustration.

"How many times do I have to remind you the same thing? Again and again? Do not get involved in my life. Stay away from me. I don't want you anywhere near me. Just do whatever you please but stay away from my life, my personal matters and my problems." He got up from his place and went out to the balcony.

She followed him as a tear drop rolled down and she asked softly. "But why? Atleast, give me a reason. Why should I stay away from you?"

"Because -" He didn't know what to say to her. He had no answers.

"Why?" She repeated, with innocent questioning eyes.

Because if you came any closer than you already are, I will ruin you like myself.

"Nothing. I am not obliged to tell you everything. Go inside and sleep."

"You are making this very hard for me." She whispered and went inside, feeling defeated.

Grabbing the duvet over her, she closed her eyes.

Aaban settled in the balcony, the wind calming his nerves. He thought about the past one and a half month. His life had changed drastically. He used to look forward to seeing her everyday. He denied it every time but deep inside he felt something for Haneen and it was very strong. Whenever, she got dressed up, he had the urge to hold her in his arms but he had to control himself very hard. He knew he couldn't do that to her.

The first time, he saw Haneen at the park, he had looked into her eyes briefly and he hadn't seen such beautiful eyes before. They were so pure and so innocent. He wanted to tell her that it was okay, it was just a phone but his mind never gave in. It always made him do the worst possible things.

He remembered their office encounter and smiled at those fiery comments. All those things Haneen had shouted at him were right. He didn't care about anyone else. He was a self-centered and egoistic jerk.

He remembered their wedding events. How she was so nervous on the night when her cousin tricked her into her room where Aaban was. He remembered how she had looked the most beautiful that day. She wasn't wearing any makeup. She had a simple henna on her hands and wore a colourful dress. She had white flowers in her head and for a moment, she had taken his breath away.

He remembered their nikkah day. Dressed in white, she looked like a dove. He remembered her trembling hands and her falling down clumsily and chuckled to himself. She was a ball of sunshine when he had met her and when he looked at her now, all her light and shining bright smile was gone. Her eyes no longer twinkled like before, they always had tears inside. She looked sad and depressed all the time. And he knew that it was his mistake. That was the sole reason, he was staying away from her. The more she tried to come closer, the more he would damage her. He didn't want to steal her smile for she had a beautiful one.

Deep down, he knew that he had just gotten lucky because of his mother. If it was for him, he would have never gotten someone like Haneen in his life. She was too good for him and he didn't deserve her one bit.

With moist eyes, he got up and came inside. She was already asleep. Haneen always slept peacefully and he always admired her in her sleep. He, on the other hand, was always restless. He went near her and bent down to her level, staring at her face. He caressed her cheeks with his fingers, trying to believe that she was real and not just a figment of his imagination. He kissed her temple and then went to pray.

Sitting on his prayer mat after a long time today, he felt different. He felt better. He wanted to tell his creator that he was broken and he needed healing of his heart and so he did. Haneen always asked him what was wrong but he never told her. Why? Because Haneen didn't need to know. It wasn't her responsibility to heal him. He was broken before her and he was going to heal himself only. No girl and especially Haneen had any sort of moral obligation or duty to change him and his ways.