Seconds, Minutes, Hours

Chapter 709337 92

The next morning, Mia woke up, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Memories of the night before swam n and out of her vision as she reached over to the other side of the bed, surprised to find it empty. Where had Zayn gone?

Mia stood up, picking up and putting on her clothes which had been tossed in various places in the room throughout the night before. Her face flushed at the memory, but she was still preoccupied with thought s of Zayn. Though she figured he must have simply gone out to the deck for a smoke, and wasn't all too worried, she was still minorly annoyed that he hadn't stayed in bed with her. But when she opened the door to the deck, by then fully clothed, Zayn was no where in sight. There was a small table with a nice breakfast set up, along with several sheets of paper. The top sheet was obviously a letter dressed to her, and before she even thought about eating, she began to read.

Dear Mia,

I hate that you have to be the first to know, but I saw no other way to do this. But let me explain.

I have always hated pain. That's why I quit with the medication. It hurt like hell, and I couldn't take it. I disnt want my life to be me fading. If I had to fade, then fine, but I wasn't going to let my lofe revolve around it. You can ask Liam about that.

I've known my time was short for a while now. I disnt want anyone to know, because I still wanted to live my life. But when I got sent to the hospital, Liam found out just how little time I had lef5. Of course he knew I was dying, but I think the time frame threw him for a loop. But Liam can tell you that story too. I don't have time to go over everything, so I need to focus on the things you need to hear from me.

What you need to hear from me is this. I love you, Mia. And I thank you for last night, that was somwthing I needed to experience. And I am genuinely sorry if I made you feel used, that was in no way my intention. I wanted your first time to be just as special as mine, but I have never been very good at this sort of thing, so I'm sorry. I made you breakfast, though I do hope it's cold by now. If not, you might have woken up earlier than I anticipated. And I don't think that the results of that would be very good.

Now here is another thing you nees to hear from me. I am dead. Thos May come as a shock, all thinhs considered, but I have my reasons. I have never been a fan of fading away, and that's all I have left. I wanted my last memories to be of you, and our wonderful tone we had, and not some tiny hospital room where some doctor has the nerve to declare my death. I wanted to be the one to declare it. And now I am. I, Zayn Malik, am dead.

I know how is probably the last thing on your mind, But here is what I did. I took sleeping pills, a whole bottle, enough to slow my heart. Then I cut my wrists. I wrapped them up as I was beginning to fade. Or at least that's the plan. I can't promise I will get to the before I pass out though.

I hate myself for doing this to you, for making you be the one to go through this. But You are here, and if I don't do this now, I will lose my nerve.

I am lying in the bed in the room across the hall from where we spent the night together. The door is locked, but the key is sitting next to your breakfast fork. If you ate alreadt, you may have noticed it. I have tried to make the scene the least gruesome as I could, at least that's what I plan on doing, but keep in mind that I am dead. The scene will shock You, and you might want to call Niall or Liam to help you.

With these papers are notes for them to. Nialls is short, I never really knew the lad. But please make sure Liam gets his. You asked me tonight what he would do without me, and he needs the note to help him move on.

Mia, I know this may sound strange, but I am human. I've made mistakes, I've hurt people. And I'm sure this will hurt people too. But Mia, I was never trying to hurt anyone. For my entire life, I have done what I had to do to stay alive. When I was little I would eat while My parents were gone. When I was taken away, I didn't trust anyone, to jeep them from hurting me. When I couldn't take the distrust and fear any longer, I trusted Liam. And when I relized I was going to die anyways, that nothing made a difference, I couldn't process it. I have finally processed it, and come to terms with it. After last night, I went to the bathroom and saw the unopened bottle of sleeping pills. I relized that I would rather have my last memory be of this perfect day. And I made a decision, then and there, that I would be the one to end the life I had worked so hard to extend. And by now, I am gone. And for that I am sorry.

I am sure there are a million things that I've forgotten, that I need to say. But the time foe that is not now. I saved tour letter for last. And now it's time for me to do the unthinkable. All I can do anymore is hope that I am dead before you find it. I don't want you trying to save me.

I really did love you Mia, if that makes any difference.

Sincerly,
A dead man.

There were tears in Mias eyes as her body went on autopilot, picking up the key, heading below deck, unlocking the door. She saw Zayn s body, and, hoping against hope, checked his pulse. But it was too late. He was gone.