bad date // depp

1.4

Breathe Me - Sia
CHLOE
To sum it all up in one word, I was stressed. Stressed beyond belief.
I woke up on the morning of the premier looking like I'd just been dragged through a bush, a very thorny bush. How on earth could I make this face look presentable for other people who are gorgeous on a red carpet. I bought a dress the other week with Johnny, to me it was perfect because all the others either made me look fat, ugly, short, too tall or all of the above. A big part of me wanted to look amazingly beautiful, but the small part wanted me to be out of my comfort zone and just not care about what people say tonight. I have an overly handsome man who loves me dearly and makes the best banana pancakes I've ever tasted.
But, has anyone ever said to you, "ew, your arms are hairy." Or "your skin is so spotty!" And it gets to you every time you look in the mirror so you go out and you buy the most expensive spot treatment that you don't even need and you shave your arms so closely your skin bleeds? When I've been told my skin is spotty and I have hairy arms, and now I have physical and emotional scars from those words. You look at these scars and they instantly recoil back to that moment when you got embarrassed and hid your arms and face automatically self-conscious about the way your beauty regime works?
It was a silly high school bully. My subconscious thoughts remind me.
No, it hurt me.
You're overreacting, you didn't need to slice you wrists over it.
Stop, please stop.
My fingers trail over the flaws that was marked there by a blade one lonely night in the dark, a bad day to be alone.
Why did they say those things? Why did they do those things to me? Why me? Why anybody?
A large tear droplet smears the imprints of the scars and I'm brought back to reality with a knock on the door.
I obviously knew it was Johnny and I really didn't won't him to see me in this state. I frantically wiped my eyes and collected myself and sat on the bed.
"Come in."
"Goood morning!" Johnny smiled widely.
Someone's happy.
Opposites attract right?
"Morning," I smiled tightly.
"You okay love? Look a bit uneasy" he gestured his hands out to hold me.
To be honest I was feeling uneasy. Yesterday I agreed to donate one of my kidneys to a man I've never met. I don't even know where the kidneys are! I met my mother for the first time in 3 years and to no surprise she was drunk at the door, way to make a good impression. I was feeling selfish and shallow. This was Johnny's night and I was really bugging him out. I was going to let my hair down tonight and forget about all my troubles for once, something I haven't done in a long time. I mostly wanted this night to be special for Johnny but I also wanted to do it for me. I've always been treated badly ( except for Johnny of course) and tonight I wanted to be treated better than what those kids thought of me at school. It sounded really selfish in my head but it's just one night. I want to drink champagne and converse with A-List celebrities. But I think most of all I couldn't wait to watch Dead Man. Johnny didn't even let me watch the trailer only a brief description of the story. But I did see a few movie posters dotted around town.
"No, I'm okay. Just a bit weary and excited for tonight." I replied to him
"Hey, it's going to be absolutely amazing." He kneeled down and rubbed my cheek with his thumb.
"With you of course. My girl." I smiled at his words, I actually felt needed, and it was a good feeling to put it bluntly.
"But I scared I'm going to mess up my make up or burn my finger straightening my hair," I laughed lightly
"Oh god no, don't worry about that. I called up a make up guru, artist or whatever they're called" He said standing up.
"No way did you do that? For me?" I was overwhelmed, I hadn't even been to a salon before I came to LA.
"No it's for me, I'm thinking of getting a French manicure or a purple eyeshadow." He said posing in very feminine ways.
I laughed and covered my mouth when I realised how loud I was.
Johnny gave me a toothy grin showing off an unfamiliar gold tooth.
"What's that?" I asked.
"What's what?" He said looking behind him.
"That gold thing in your mouth?" I pointed.
"Oh right that," I let out a breathy laugh.
"I was going to show you it before but I forgot. You like?" He said widening his mouth with his fingers.
"Pretty cool bro. why did you get it?"
"I'm a pirate, duh."
"Oh, alright captain." I said saluting.
"As captain, I order you to make breakfast." He said sternly
"Um, no thanks. I love you but I'm too lazy." I said slumping my shoulders. "Can't we just go to ihop or something?" I pleaded.
Johnny sighed, "Fine, but you're driving."
"And you're paying." I said winking.
"And what will make me do that? " He asked crossing his arms.
"By me giving you lots of kisses?" I said
"I think that's a fair deal" he smiled warmly.
-
We had been cuddling on the sofa for hours and there were still plenty more hours till the premiere, being here with Johnny seemed to relax me a whole lot more.
His scent was the most glorious thing ever.
The way his long hair tousled over to one side on the weekends.
His tattoos
His taste in music.
And what I loved was that it was wearing off on me, being close to him and starting to share his interests.
He was like my role-model and the love of my life. It was great, I forgot about all my worries when I was with him.