AFTER HOURS

𝟐𝟏

𝙎𝙖𝙛𝙞𝙮𝙖 𝙀𝙡𝙞𝙯𝙖𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙝 𝙅𝙚𝙖𝙣-𝘽𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙚
𝙻𝙾𝚂 𝙰𝙽𝙶𝙴𝙻𝙴𝚂, 𝙲𝙰

"Can you tell me about the death?"

After some excruciatingly long months of crying my eyes out every single hour of the day and constant harassment by my ex-wife, I had finally worked up the courage to go to grief counseling.

As crazy as it seems, the only reason I even came is because of Syian. We hadn't really talked much since that day, but one day he told me I should go to counseling, so I came.

"It was a drunk driving incident. In the car with her I know it was my brother-in-law, our friend Rodney, our friend Alonzo, and Alonzo's son, Kodi. Everybody had injuries but she was the only one that succumbed to theirs, everyone else is fine or had to undergo minor procedures but it didn't really affect them."

"Your brother-in-law, are you close to him?"

"No." I answer with no hesitation. "We were never really close, but we never had issues with each other until that day. We had got into a really bad argument a few hours before the accident happened."

"How bad was this argument?"

"On a scale of one to ten? Eleven. I ended up telling him to die and we haven't spoke much since then. I think him telling me about you was the first time we've spoken since then."

"How does that make you feel?"

"In a way it's kind of sad, we were never really close, but I mean we would have conversations. Since like, right before my girlfriend died I've been living with my sister, niece and brother-in-law and before that it wasn't as awkward to be there."

She nodded her head in response, jotting something down on her notepad before looking back up at me. "Where were you when you found out about the death?"

"Home..well, my sisters house."

"Do you remember what you were feeling at that time?"

"I was feeling waves of different emotions, I was in shock for the most part because we didn't know who it was that died. They hadn't identified her yet, we didn't know until we had got to the hospital. That's when it all hit me at once."

"I thought that maybe after the funeral I would feel a little better but I didn't. I've been in the worst state of depression since she died, I don't know how to fix it. I hate this feeling. I hate feeling lost."

"Have you went to visit her grave?"

"I've went almost everyday. I just recently stopped going because I realized it wasn't helping but I just feel so alone. I didn't have enough time to love her. I spent so much time trying to save my failing marriage that I wasted so much time I could've had with her."

"There's no such thing as wasting time. You didn't know. Death comes at us at so many unexpected ways and at the most unexpected times."

"But she tried for a while and I avoided it," I put my face in my hands, wanting to cry. "I should've gave in quicker."

"Your timing is always right. You did what you did at the correct pace. You and Persephone started your relationship at the perfect time."

"If it was the perfect time, why did I only have a few months with her? We weren't even together three months officially before it happened. I just don't get it."

"We will never understand death and why it happens when it does, but we eventually come to terms with it."

"How come I haven't come to terms with it? It seems like everyone has moved on but me and her best friend. I haven't seen him much, which tells me all I need to know about his grieving process."