My Arranged Marriage

Chapter 1

From Past Mr. Clark Adler's Point of View

I settle into bed with my wife.

We don't snuggle up together. We don't touch.

We are in a loveless marriage.

My fault mostly. I hid who I was from her.

I remind faithful to her. I don't feel attracted to her but I'd never act on my attractions while married to her.

We got married for business while I was still hiding my identity from the world.

We had a son. We continue to stay married for his sake.

My wife's voice breaks the silence as we lay there, "Clark?"

I could pretend like I'm asleep but I respect her too much to let her feel ignored.

I look at her, "yeah Ella?"

She presses her lips together firmly, "I know it doesn't benefit you in any way but can we have sex? I'm not asking for unprotected sex. I know the goal is to raise Jonah and get a divorce but please."

I continue to look at her, "El, you know it complicates things if we do."

I know she recalls the numerous times we have since I came out to her. Each time has led to her telling me that if I can appreciate her so much, that surely I might not be gay and that perhaps I'm bisexual.

She rolls over so her back is to me, "I know. I'm sorry."

I slowly move closer to her, "El, we can. I know you need it sometimes and I much rather for me to provide than someone else."

She sighs softly, "I know you use to be passionate towards me. You use to come home from work and throw me on the bed."

She bites her lip at that, "tie my hands to the headboard too. And then you'd just... fuck me for lack of a better word. You'd fuck me like you couldn't hold back anymore."

I kisses the back of her shoulder, "I know El. I am sorry."

She trembles under my touch, clearly starved from the months of us not touching.

I lay my arm over her. We have a quick session there on the bed.

I know she faked it. And I groan internally at the thought but I go down on her.

She grips my hair as she finishes for real.

I move up beside her, laying down. I slowly exhale. She rests her hand on my chest.

For a minute I think the bisexual lecture is coming but she simply kissed my cheek and thanks me.

I lay there, feeling guilty for yet another time I've given into that.

I know I don't like it or feel anything mentally around it. No satisfaction or anything.

Just like I cum and make her cum and she gets pleasured because attracted to her or not I love her in a way.

She deserves to feel good. I don't emotionally fulfill her needs but I do try to fulfill her other needs.

I slowly wrap an arm around her, "I love you El."

Her eyes meet mine, understanding in them, "I love you Clark."

I lay there, holding her as she falls asleep.

She deserves a man who can appreciate the many curves of her body and the mind inside her head.

She's smart and beautiful and any straight man would be lucky to have her.