The Collection

DOGS DOING TAXES

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**Disclaimer: before reading I recommed changing your font to Monospace to give it that extra 'script' feel. If you want, obviously.**

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KEYS JANGLE IN DOOR, WIFE WALKS IN CARRYING DOG

REBECCA –

Honey, look what I picked up today!

ADAM, SITTING WITH BACK TO WIFE DOING TAXES -

What is it?

REBECCA –

Look!

ADAM, TURNS AROUND -

Oh my God!!!!!!!

REBECCA -

Isn't he cute?!

ADAM –

Umm, yeah... he's pretty cute, I guess.

REBECCA –

Pretty cute? He's adorable!

ADAM –

Okay, he's adorable. What's he doing in our house, though?

REBECCA –

Well, I thought we could keep him.

ADAM –

You know we can't, Rebecca.

REBECCA –

But why not, Adam? He's just a little dog.

ADAM –

We can't afford someone else living in our house, Rebecca! We can barely afford to feed ourselves, how are we supposed to feed a dog, too?

REBECCA –

But look at him, Adam. Poor thing was on the street when I found him. He was moping around on the sidewalk! He nearly got hit by a car! Do you want him to die?

ADAM –

Obviously, I don't want him to die! We just can't afford him. Look at the statement I received this morning.

PULLS OUT PAPER SAYING MINUS $20,000

REBECCA –

I know, Adam. I see our financials, too. We're both making the money in this house. We both work equally as hard as the other. I just think we need someone – POINTS TO DOG – to help us get through this! And he was on the street, for God sakes!!!!

ADAM –

I understand that, but we've been in this rut for too long and a dog isn't going to make our situation any easier! Rebecca, listen to me, we are dirt-poor! We have no food in the fridge! We barely have enough money to get by! I know that you want to help this dog, and I know he's cute, but you need to listen to reason. We just can't do it. I'm sorry.