Our Aquarium

30 ~ Eliana

I think I'm experiencing WW...Wesley Withdrawal. It's impossible to say I didn't fall in love with him. When he asked me to tell him that I didn't love him, I couldn't. He's a dick but he's my dick... no sexual pun intended.

For the past week I've ignored Wesley. I still have nothing to say to him. Honestly it hurts when I look at him because all I can think about is the words he said on Thanksgiving. Nothing else that came before seems to matter anymore. I can't picture the good times.  Everything fell apart so fast and it seems like things are just continuously falling.

"Eliana wait," Wesley calls out as I make my way to the supply closet to get cleaning supplies.

I glare at him and he backs off with his hands held up in surrender. Then I open the supply closet. Bile rises in my throat and I force myself not to throw up as I slam the door closed. Jacob and Jenna are in the supply closet lip locked in a very passionate position. Great. I need to be anywhere, but here. I can't be here anymore I can't do it.

"Eliana, I'm sorry you had to find out like that," Wesley sighs, following me into the locker room.

Stopping in my tracks, I turn to him very slowly. "You knew."

He swallows but nods. "Yes, Eliana, but—"

I need to sit down. Of course he knew and didn't tell me. Did he just enjoy making fun of me behind my back? Did he do all those things because he pitied me for being oblivious to my boyfriend sleeping with my friend?

The whole time I was thinking, Wesley was pulling me along to his office and I was blindly following. Immediately, he sits me on his couch and cups my face, bending down in front of me and saying, "Eliana it wasn't like that."

I get it. He wanted me to find out because then I would run into his arms and then it would be his turn. This is what he's been waiting for.

Once again he directs my gaze back to him. "Would you have believed me if I told you?"

I pause. He's right. I would like to believe that I would've listened to his words, but I don't know.

Wesley's thumb drags over my bottom lip and it makes me weak. "I wanted to tell you, but me and you both know you wouldn't have believed me."

"How long did you know?" I question softly.

He sits down next to me and rests his elbows on his knees. Then he tells me that he knew the moment he met them, but his suspicions were confirmed after he saw them together when I thought I pulled him into an empty room. That was over a month ago.

"I'm well aware of what a dickhead looks like."

I nod. "Of course because you're a dickhead escort." I didn't mean it like that but it came out and I immediately wanted to take it back.

Wesley only chuckles and drags his hand up my thigh. "I'm going to let that one slide because you're hurting." His hand moves to my throat, his fingers slowly wrapping around my neck applying just enough pressure. "Baby believe me next time you try to throw that in my face it won't end well. I'm not ashamed of it, but it seems you are." His lips press against my cheek and I begin to feel really hot. "Are you jealous of how many woman have had my dick while you still haven't?"

Grunting I shove him off and stand to my feet. I hate when he says vulgar shit like that, it's the same thing that happened on Thanksgiving. I fall for his every word and touch and then he says stupid shit to screw it up.

He watches me and holds his hand out to me, but I'm not taking it. I'm so tired of everything.

"You're an asshole," I growl. "And I told you I'm not a submissive."

He leans back casually as if he already has me where he wants me. "It's nothing to be ashamed of Sweetness." Then he pats his thigh and I am really tempted to punch him.

"I hate you."

His demeanor drops. "You don't mean that."

I don't. I'm weak for him which is why I walk into his arms and I climb on top of his lap, my heart racing erratically in my chest. I'm mad at him. I'm mad at myself. The worst part is I don't even care about Jacob cheating on me with my friend, because I was no better. I was falling for another guy.

"I'm scared," I admit to Wesley.

He pulls back and looks up at me. "Why?"

Sighing, I cup his face between my fingers. "I have no excuse to not fall in love with you."

"That's a good thing," he says with an adorable smile on his face.

Then I kiss him because if I don't everything won't feel right. If I don't I'll get lost in my thoughts and convince myself to not be with him. He was right, kissing may not solve everything, but it's sometimes needed.

I don't know how long we stay like this but eventually I pull back to take a break. His lips taste good and his tongue is so tantalizing. When he looks at me there are unsaid words in his eyes. I wait patiently for him to say them. After a hesitant minute he does.

"My father doesn't approve of me," he whispers never losing eye contact with me. "Before you came in my father said that you were a good role model for me and though these words sound plain and simple you weren't there when he said them so I doubt you will be able to understand his meaning behind it. I lost my resolve and those words slipped through and I never wanted to hurt you, I just really wanted to piss him off."

I've noticed the animosity between Wesley and his father, so I will try my best to understand. Neither one of us are perfect people.

Looking into Wesley eyes, I make sure he's listening to my words. "I forgive you. And I hope you will forgive me. I know what I'm getting myself into, just please try not to say as much stupid shit."

He laughs and pulls me into an embrace resting his head on my shoulder. "I forgive you. Thank you for forgiving me."

All feels right and a small part of me is a little happy that I caught Jacob cheating. It helped me and Wesley and helped me in breaking up with him. I didn't know how to do it before because I still thought he was a good guy so I wanted to let him down easily. But screw it now. Wesley is mine and I'm his and I'm not letting anyone get in the way of that. Plus my man is sexy as hell.