After It All

Chapter Six

Riley

I shut Ellie's door for the final time of the night fingers crossed. The boys had gone down maybe an hour ago meaning the house was silent
James and I fighting was never good but now we have the kids it can't be happening. It isn't fair on them to watch it and we both know that Zach is at the age where he understand things a little too much 

I sighed looking through the living room at all the photos. From the ones we took every time we brought one of the kids home from the hospital all the way to some old photos from our teenager days

"You wanted to talk?" James said softly coming into the house gently shutting the door doing his best not to be too loud 

Part of me wants to just throw it under the rug, ignore the problem.. go back to playing happy families but we all know that's a plan waiting to blow up in all of our faces 

"We can't keep doing this James" I said, he looked at me and nodded coming in taking a seat on the sofa next to me
"I really am sorry Ri" he said placing his hand on mine, I wanted to forgive him but I need to see it first
"It's not that I need an apology James, even the kids think your pushing them aside" I said
"I know" He answered bowing his head
"Is that really the relationship you want with our children James?" I asked, he instantly shook his head looking at me with an apologetic look on his face 

"Do you want to know what Zach asked me today" I said, James' expression shifted to worried
"He asked to go home. But he made it clear he wasn't talking about this house" I warned him

"Ellie and Landon are both young, they are oblivious to our little issues James but Zach isn't anymore. The more we fight, the more we pull away, the more it is going to affect him and I can't let that happen" I said, James nodded in agreement before taking my hand in his 

"We can't let that happen" He said, I offered him a small smile

Part of me wanted him to be sincere, I wanted this to be the small moving hurdle everyone warned us about. And god I hope they are right because I don't know how much more we can take before one of completely snaps 

--

I woke up the next morning expecting to have the boys jumping on James and I, but when I woke I was alone in the bed and from the looks of the baby monitor. Ellie was not in her crib and Landon was not in his bed either
I got up from the bed grabbing my dressing down walking down the stairs to hear the living room full of laughter, laughter I would know anywhere 

Sure enough, the moment I opened the door. I saw James stood ticking Landon with one hand while he had Zach thrown over his shoulder with both boys irrupting in mountains of laughter, all while their little sister sat on the floor in front of them attempting to get involved too 
It reminded me of our usual Sunday mornings. It was always full of family time like this except it would usually be a little more rough
I'm assuming the fact Ellie is around, the boys are being gentle

"Mama" Ellie giggled the moment she realised I was there. As soon as she said that all three boys looks up like a deer in the headlights and when I say they all looked identical, I'm not exaggerating, it was almost as if we had copy and pasted James twice 

"hey baby" I smiled picking up Ellie off of the floor while the boys looked at me with sheepish grins
"Mummmm" Zach sung, it was his and James' famous tone from when they wanted something
"What are you after young man" I asked with a raised brow
"Zacky" Ellie said earning a smile from everyone
It was a recent development that she had picked up the boys names. Zach is Zacky while Landon is Landy. I think she just likes adding a Y to everything 
It's a new phase

"Dad said, if we get you to agree, we can all go to the beach" Zach said batting his eye lashes while Landon sat on the arm of the sofa next to where James had stood, I glared at James before rolling his eyes

"You have 10 minutes to get ready, and I mean teeth brushed and everything" I warned them, with that said both boys were running up the stairs not daring to look back 

I walked into the kitchen with Ellie still on my hip while James followed behind making faces at her earning the sweetest of giggles
"Thanks for letting me sleep in" I said, James nodded coming over
He wrapped on arm around both Ellie and I while the other laid on my waist tracing circles gently

"I meant what I said last night" He whispered kissing the top of my head
"Dada" Ellie cooed poking his hand making the pair of us chuckle
James was soon to scoop her up almost throwing her into the air but she didn't quite leave his hands 

Over the years, I've watched James with both boys while they were babies and he was a completely different person with then then he is now with Ellie
Ellie is this little delicate flower in his eyes, he would never let anything intentionally hurt her. He would do all he could to make sure she was safe in his hands
But with the boys, he would have thrown them up in the air making sure to get them high up causing them to giggle 

"I promise, I'm going to make it up to all of you" James said with Ellie now resting her head on his shoulder as he came back over to me
"I think you're already in the process of it. The boys seem to have forgiven you like nothing happened and well, I don't think Ellie was ever an issue" I said nodding to our daughter happy and content in her father arms 

"And you?" He asked, I sighed offering him a smile
"As long as the kids are happy and we're all well and safe. That's all I care about" I explained

James nodded smiling
"To a new beginning?" He offered making me chuckle with a smile
"To a new beginning" I whispered before he gently leant down pressing his lips against mine 

I really hope this new beginning is the start of something we all need