After It All

Chapter Four

James

"Thanks guys" I chuckled once more as they dropped me home that evening. Today was Friday night and for the first time in years the boys and I had gone out. When I moved away it meant I had to miss out on all these nights. Even when Ri and I lived here I missed out on them seeing as we always seemed to have something going on
I guess what I'm trying to say is that it was nice after all this time.. To be able to do something like that

I walked into the house to hear nothing but silence, in our household that is the worst thing to hear
But from the look of the time. I guess we're silent at 1am

Before heading upstairs I turned to see the lights in the garden still on which is unusual. Riley religiously turns them off before heading to bed
The closer I got to the French doors. The more I could see into the garden and the more Riley came into view

Since we've move back Riley and I haven't exactly had the smoothest of sailings. Ellie's been unwell which means Riley's up all night or I'm up or night
Landon started at The Next Step and Zach started up football again and to our dismay the practices clash. Meaning more time spent apart
I know better then the next person that Riley is probably trapped in her head right now, overthinking every small little detail

"Ri" I called making her head tilt upwards before she froze in her position. She didn't turn to look at me, she didn't say a single word to me
"Hey" I said coming to sit next to her, she still wouldn't look at me but the moment I attempted to wrap an arm around her she shifted turning her entire body away from me

"What's wrong?" I asked catching a small glimpse of her face, it was evident that she had been crying. But I just didn't know why

"Was you night okay good?" Riley asked, the first thing to leave her lips since I had gotten home

"Babe what's going on?" I asked but she shook her head
"When we moved back here James you promised me things wouldn't change!" she said raising her voice slightly 

"What are you talking about? Things haven't change" I questioned making Riley scoff
"Things haven't changed?" She asked looking at me, her brown eyes threatening to let more tears escape
"Where is the James who wouldn't leave the house if one of his kids were sick? Where is the James who would run after his sons before grabbing tickling them just to hear their laugh? Where is the James who knew that his daughters main comfort was falling asleep on her Daddy's chest? Where did he go?" Riley asked making me look at her confused 

"I'm still here Ri" I said but she shook her head
"No James, you aren't" She whispered 
"I asked you not to go out tonight, I get you haven't seen the boys in a while but Ellie is ill, the boys wanted an evening with you. Not to be tucked up in bed while you go our drinking" She explained

"If you wanted that sort of life James, you should have had it before we had kids" She warned as I shook my head
"When Riley? Because if you remember, our teen years were taken up competing and after your attempt at running a studio failed. We left" I answered making Riley's face fall onto a level of hurt I hadn't seen since she found out about Beth

"Mummy?" A timid voice called making me instantly close my eye
We both knew who's voice that was and if he just heard that he was about to start hating me

"Hey baby" Riley smiled getting up off the steps to meet Landon by the door, Riley instantly picked him up but his gaze had still fallen on to me
"Are you two fighting?" He asked making Riley look at me before shaking her head
"No love it's okay. Daddy is going to sleep on the sofa tonight though, why don't you stay with me?" She asked

Knowing Landon and Riley. Each others company was exactly what they needed

"Riley" I whispered watching as she shook her head, she placed Landon back onto the ground whispered something to him before we both watched him scurry off into the house

"I don't know where the James I love went this evening, but if he isn't back soon. He's going to lose a lot more then he realises he has" Riley said 
"Let me explain please Ri" I said but she shook our head

"We have three children upstairs James. Two of which are asleep, one of those two being ill at the moment to the point I'm praying we haven't woken her up" Riley said taking another step to the house
"You know where the extra linen is. I just hope in the morning, we aren't in this same situation" She muttered before finally leaving to join Landon

--

The next morning rolled around pretty quickly but I wasn't met with the usual morning routine of Landon and Zach bursting into the room jumping on Riley and I. I was greeted with Zach sat in the arm chair next to where I slept looking at me with something I could only describe as disappointed 

"Why are you and Mum arguing?" Zach asked before I even had a chance to sit up
"Zee look" I started but he shook his head
"don't talk to me like I'm a little kid Dad. When you and mum argue, Landon freaks out, Ellie is clingy and you're cranky" He said

"I don't care what you did, I want to know how you're going to fix it" He said crossing his arms across his chest
"Buddy I don't think it's that simple" I warned him but he shook his head

"Then Dad you need to make it that simple. You've done worse things then push us aside" He said making me furrow my brows

"You think I'm pushing you guys aside?" I asked and Zach sighed looking down. It wasn't often that Zach showed his vulnerable side but when he did, you knew it
"As much as I want to side with you and say you aren't. You are Dad. You've barely been there for Ellie, You haven't once stayed for a full practice or a full class of Lan's" He explained

"Not to mention the fact you barely even get close to mum lately" He explained

"Zach" I started but he shook his head before hearing the giggled and footsteps of his younger siblings and their mother

"I don't care about any of it Dad but you need to fix it before you make it worse" He said before getting up to go and greet his younger brother with a hug he probably needed