Would you tie my shoelaces? [ENGLISH VERSION]

03. Beautiful

1:07 p.m. was the hour the clock on my showed cell phone. Four notifications on Instagram along with the screams of my mother waiting for me to come down for lunch. According to her, I had to eat my three meals of the day and not skip a single one. I would lose weight and that was something I was looking for, but she was avoiding it at all costs. Honestly, she had me fed up enough on that subject, her actions, and her opinions. Every moment I try to put myself in her shoes and pretend my daughter is going through this, I feel like it would be so weird, and embarrassing. Also stupid. That's how my «mother» must see me, as well as my whole family. I usually write all this down in my diary, but since the last time, when my dad found it and read it in front of everyone, this is not frequent anymore. Not often at all.

Another scream. Another damn scream that unfortunately I could hear thanks to the fact that the door to my room was open, while I was looking at the ceiling while still in my bed. It may have been ten minutes, or only five, or even two, but my mother wasn't really patient when it came to me. When was she?

I got up, walked out of the room, and down every damn staircase I had to step on to get downstairs. My bare toes felt the hardwood and soon, the cold, white kitchen floor. A piece of toast, a starry egg on top of it, orange juice in a glass cup, and a woman, whom I owe and am forced to call "mom". She was waiting for me sitting on one of the red chairs, resting her hands on that rectangular table, with that gesture, that unique, horrendous, and stupid gesture that screamed anger for the slightest thing, was what that lady had on her face.

I came to her side, the seat just to her left where my stick is. Damn, that's too many calories.

"I have to go out for something a neighbor is going to give me, so eat this quickly" she orders; however, I don't see the logic of it.

"Aren't we all going to eat together later?" By later I mean in less than half an hour, and she's still going to make me eat this. We always ate around 2:00 p. m., and at this point it was 1:34 p. m.

I bite a piece of the bread but don't swallow it. She just sighs and touches her forehead as if her head hurted and was spinning.

"You haven't had lunch or breakfast; there's nothing in your stomach thanks to the fact that you didn't get out of bed. Your siblings tried to wake you up and apparently, you didn't even say a word. So, eat." I hated the fact that she had the power to make my decisions. The power to beat me and have everyone understand why that was right. When in reality it wasn't at all, and it shouldn't be so common these days.

Her phone started vibrating. Now's my chance. She quickly noticed who it was and forgot about me right there and got up, then went to the other room near the kitchen, and closed the door to answer the call. What I had in my mouth I put in a napkin, chewed more pieces and did the same with them. When I was more than halfway through I started to chew slower once I heard the door open, finding my mother looking at me suspiciously. She must have thought I was eating well and locked herself back in the room, going back to chewing and spitting my lunch into the napkin, and finally, hiding it under my pants when I finished. The juice I threw it down the sink quickly before the witch came back out, leaving a small portion in the glass cup as for a drink. With the plate and glass I had used in my hands, I left them in the sink so that the cleaning lady or my mother could start washing them and the rest of the dishes. Suddenly, Nathalie Wilson gave way to the kitchen and came out of the previous room; she had already finished her call and was ready to either go to the neighbor or check if I had eaten all my lunch.

She stopped when she saw me drop everything in the sink, and quickly checked the garbage, expecting to find the toast and egg in the can, but no. She easily fell into my trap, but was still suspicious. She sat down in the same chair as before, and with her gaze, it made me understand that I should do the same. And so I did.