Would you tie my shoelaces? [ENGLISH VERSION]

10. Shitty,

My mother wouldn't let me explain anything to her. And honestly, how could I? Was this the time to come out of the closet to her? I expected a different time, on a different day. Not in my room sitting on my bed with her looking at me disappointed or confused, while I searched for a way to clear things up. Then she spoke. And she said a sentence that for a moment had seemed unreal to me.

"Do you like Avis?"

I love her, I wanted to say, but she would tell me that she couldn't be sure because of the little time we spent together. It would be absurd, to think that in such a short time one had found love, and as absurd as it was, I really did, and I hoped that she really had found it in me, too.

"Yes. And the fact that it has been days without contacting her seems unfair to me."

"You know what's unfair? That my daughter is a lesbian after all these years and she didn't tell me!" I was silent as soon as she said it. Stupefied. I thought we had trust, mi amor. I didn't expect to find out like this.

"Mom, she's not the one." She fell silent once I said that. "She's not mine. And she's definitely not perfect like everyone thought. She's Avis Wilson. A girl who loves music, playing it or even listening to it. She's a girl who draws happy faces on her body so she can remember to smile once shit happens to her. Or maybe she just likes to remember how life treats her. I don't know; she never told me." I commented, reaching out and taking her hand. "But for me mom, she is what I want to pursue. And if I didn't tell you before it's because I still wasn't sure if I would be able to chase her all my life."

She just hugged me and I felt how the world became bigger, how everything could be possible, and at the same time how a great relief inside me came out of my chest. I had patched things up with her, which meant I could now get back in touch with my friends, and Avis.

When I got my cell phone the first thing I did was text Avis.

4fterlifee

Avis, I'm back.

Can I talk to you?

I've already settled things up with my mother.

Sky.00

Enid? 

I can't. I got in a fight. 

I'm grounded.

I shouldn't even be talking to you right now.

It was the last I heard from her, so I didn't think of anything else to do but go to her house and fix things. I didn't know what fight she had gotten into.... Again. She usually fights back a lot. But that didn't matter to me, I liked her scarred and all.I saw my other messages as I was on my way to her house. My mother had let me take the car and go with her, wishing me luck before I left. 

In my messages, I noticed the ones from my cousin, Martina, and I knew why Avis had gotten into another fight. I couldn't believe her school was this homophobic. It was amazing how hypocritical people could be.

I didn't tell Avis that I was going to see her, let alone that I knew about the fight. I didn't know the situation she was in with her family, or if she wanted to see me or really wanted to have something serious with me, I just knew I had to kiss her and clear things up.

So that's what I did, I got to her house and I rang the doorbell and knocked on the door a couple of times, and luckily she was the one who opened it.

"Enid? What are you doing here? If Natalie sees you..." Natalie, always by her name but never mother. Sometimes I felt that Avis needed an endless hug. One that would last until eventually every scar and wound would disappear, and the pain would go away. I took her hands and looked into those honey-colored eyes.

"Let's go, where only you and I know." And that's when I dragged her to the car and took her away. Away from her "family", away from where they hurt her, and did so for years until she was driven to the point where she hated herself and food. Her body, spirit, and everything was taken away from her because of that damn place. And I was going to get it back for her.

As we were leaving Avis kept telling me to stop, to turn around because she would get in more trouble. But I didn't care, I just smiled and laughed as I listened to her prayers. I looked at her carefully when we came to a red light and noticed how she had already grabbed some flesh from her body. She had taken my advice, but I knew that if I let her know she "looked" better she would relapse. For some reason, I was able to understand Avis' situation in a short time. And that helped me to connect with her even more.

"What?" She said with a smile at the corner of her lips, along with her beautiful little girl laugh. I wonder if she had a good childhood before this whole eating disorder thingy.

"Nothing," I said, cupping her cheek with my right hand at the same time. "I just love you."Her cheeks soon turned red and that made me tender. Avis was many things but among them my favorite. I could tell her, I could show her, but that would lose its point in the end. So I decided, I would keep it, keep it, and treasure it forever until some force would separate us. And I hoped that force would be death.

Then I took her by both cheeks and kissed those tender lips that I hadn't kissed in a long time. I missed that touch, that feeling of a knot in my stomach, or the classic butterflies in my stomach that I never got to experience until that moment when I saw her, until that moment when I struck up a conversation with her at that party, until that moment when it occurred to me to dance with her at the fair! I honestly didn't know what I was thinking at that moment, but it just happened and it happened as one should have expected.

Avis was and will be the best thing that ever happened to me, and I hope it will be the same for her. 

Suddenly I heard the car horns behind us and started laughing. I started the car and continued on my way, still with a smile on my face and endless laughter. Avis just flashed a tender smile about what happened.

"Only Enid Anderson would think of kissing someone while driving."

"Only Avis Wilson would think of seducing me while I'm driving."

"Oh, you're going to blame me?"

"Not if you kiss me."

But she didn't, she just laughed and hit me on the right arm. I loved her kisses, I loved her laugh, and I loved her touch. I loved Avis Wilson. And I hoped she would say the same.

Soon we arrived at our destination. A coffee shop. I wasn't planning on ordering anything, just hoping to chat with her and continue to admire her up close. But everything changed when she asked me the following question:

"Can we share a coffee? I don't think I can finish one by myself," she mentioned, smiling slightly.

"Sure"

We spent the whole afternoon talking and talking, joking, and sharing a cold white mocha. We took pictures, videos, and occasional kisses there. I felt happy, calm and complete. There was only one thing left to clarify. I took her hand and we walked out of the coffee shop, where I asked her directly:

"Avis, I want to know something."

"What is it?" she asked smiling.

I took her hair and caressed her, "Can I be your girlfriend?"

The idea was a dream. And if all the time we spent together meant something, then it was possible that Avis and I could really become something. And that was something I was looking forward to with all my heart.

She just put her arms behind my neck, and regardless of the people around us, she kissed me and said:

"Yes."

And that's when I felt that everything was a dream and that sooner or later I was going to wake up. Which I would not let happen. Because I had her by my side, and I wasn't going to let that end.

Life had already taken several things from me, I wasn't going to let it take away someone else I loved. It had taken my father from me, and if it took away my other loved one I didn't know what else it would do. What I did know was that I was going to protect Avis as much as I could, I was going to defend her and protect her the best way I could, no matter the dangers. She had chosen me, and I had chosen her.