The phone began to vibrate. I patiently waited for it to answer, although nerves and the voices in my head told me this was a lousy idea.
Sarah wasn't answering my messages, my bedroom door was locked, and a fork was making it difficult for my parents to open the door to come in and scold me. That YouTube tutorial served me well for just such an occasion.
The yelling on the other side of the door wasn't helping me calm down. I got up off the floor leaning my back and head next to the door and walked in circles in the middle of the room.
Sarah didn't answer my call, and, for some reason, I stopped circling, now focusing my gaze on scissors, my bedroom window, and then my cell phone.
Ha. How pathetic could I be to think about taking my own life now? I didn't want my story to be told by someone else, I couldn't, so I looked at my contacts again. I went through the small list of friends I have to give them this kind of news, so that somehow they could help me; reaching only one person. Two, actually, but one didn't show up.
The phone rang again, and the shouting and knocking at the door got louder, but I still didn't answer them. I was occupying a distraction, a huge one. She would know what to do, wouldn't she? So much was going through my head that I didn't flinch when she answered.
"Avis? Is that you?" As soon as I heard her voice I didn't know what to say, besides the thought that someone was finally willing to help me was true; it made me doubt the whole thing. She didn't need an answer to start worrying: "If it's you, what's wrong? You're usually asleep by this time. Is everything all right?
"Avis! Open this damn door before I come in there and make you regret this," Natalie, who was on the other side of the door, had been saying the same thing for almost twenty-five minutes, and still not getting in. Thank YouTube for teaching me that fork trick.
"Come on out and let's get this conversation over with, young lady. You have to have dinner." My father added in his typical threatening tone. He shouldn't have come back knowing that everything was still as disastrous as he heard it was for Natalie.
Enid must have heard everything through her cell phone. She was quiet for a moment before I spoke.
"I'm sorry to bother you, but you're the only one I could think of to talk to about this," I excused myself. It was part lie what I told her, because the first person I thought of was no one. And the other Sarah, but in the end nothing turns out the way you expect it to.
"You don't have to worry about that, really. We can talk about what's going on if you want," I didn't answer her right away because I was still thinking about her proposal, and I didn't want to bother her with my idiocy. But she went ahead to give me another option. "If not, we can do something else to distract you."
I wanted to cry. The things being said to me behind the door, the voices inside my head, the thousand calories slowly creeping up and fighting the idea of going to throw up everything I'd already eaten for the day. As if that was even possible at this hour. However, even though my eyes were begging to burst, that in my throat was a lump stuck and ready to be released, I swallowed it down and tried to remain calm. Little happens in my life to give it as much importance as these things, and yet somehow I end up giving it.
"The second one," I answered tiredly; my bedtime was past, and my head was weighing me down like never before, but I still stayed on the call.
"Is music okay?" Enid seemed like an expert in this kind of situation. I was amazed at how much she could help me, and how little I knew so far that she could make it happen. I couldn't help but imagine what made her be so prepared for this type of situations.
YOU ARE READING
Would you tie my shoelaces? [ENGLISH VERSION]
RomansaGive me something to think about, something to give my importance, my attention, that everything that for so long waited to be given to something; not just to a hobby, or a simple song that does not seek to find the way out of your head and heart, b...