Update

740 20 19
                                    

Hey everyone, dropping in on my birthday because I have some free time to write this.

I found out why my son ended up in the hospital and to say it broke my heart would be a severe understatement. I have never felt this kind of betrayal in my life and I wouldn't wish this upon anyone, just know and going through this pain first hand is very difficult.

Only family and some friends know because it is severely personal, so I am not going to stay what happened here. I am no longer in a relationship seen as it is for the best and I just simply can't.

Sebastian is doing as good as he can, he does have to be on seizure medicine for the rest of his life and he has a G-button which is a permanent feeding tube until he relearns how to suck so he can eat properly. He is currently with a medical team and has to stay there for about a year so they can monitor him, when he was in the hospital he underwent 3 surgeries. One was burhole surgery which is when they drill holes in the top of the head to release pressure/drain the blood that wasn't supposed to be there. Two was the G-button, because he failed his swallow test he had to get this done so he could eat. They had a regular feeding tube in but he kept trying to take it out. The third surgery was fixing his umbilical hernia that came to be because he lost his umbilical cord to early.

He is blind.
He doesn't smile anymore.
He can't hold his head right.
He barely coos anymore.

My heart is beyond repair. My depression has gotten worse and I have trouble sleeping because nightmares are a constant occurrence. It was extremely hard to type this out, but it was harder seeing my son go through all of this.

With all that being said, I have chosen to put this book on hold and all my other unfinished works as well. Probably for good. I will edit because aside from work I have nothing to distract me and keep my head in the right place.

I hope all of you have a good day/evening/night.

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⏰ Last updated: Jun 16, 2022 ⏰

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