Puck (Kickstarting My Heart #3) (COMPLETED)

I Could Have, Should Have, Would Have

Jordan spent the weekend helping his grandmother move a few hours away.

It was the first time in what seemed like forever that he wasn't at my side, and I couldn't lie and say I didn't feel uneasy about it. The fact that Nick had straight up threatened to hurt me and could if I step outside the door unaccompanied made me sick.

Yet, I still found myself sitting in the parking lot of the cemetery that my sister, niece, and nephew lay buried six feet under, grasping the steering wheel of my father's car so tight my knuckles had begun to lose color. Once I gained enough motivation to get out, I grabbed my dad's pocketknife from the glove compartment and jumped out of the drivers seat and on to the hard asphalt.

Though it was midafternoon, the darkness of the storm clouds encasing our small town made it feel much later. I hated the cemetery as it was, it legit gave me the creeps. But it was the only way I felt a connection to my sister anymore. All I wanted was to talk to my big sister, tell her all the crap that had been going on, even if it meant I was talking to nothing more than a rock. At least I could get it off my chest with no judgement, no condescending looks, no scolding.

My trek to my sister's grave was cut short when I caught sight of a bright red letterman. Our school colors stood out like a sore thumb against all the dead grass beneath my feet.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I couldn't stop myself from speaking.

Chase flew a couple inches back, staring at me in shock, catching his breath. I had, no doubt, scared him.

"What are you doing here?" He finally croaked once he was able to steady his breathing.

"I came to see my sister and her kids." I made a gesture behind me. "I do it every Saturday."

He nodded toward the headstone, not responding. I looked down, frowning a little.

He had come to talk to his mom.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt." I said quickly, ready to cross the cemetery to find my sister's grave. "Go ahead."

Even though he wasn't here physically, I could practically hear Jordan telling me to keep moving and leave Chase alone.

"I don't even know why I come here." Chase grasped the headstone, using it as a prop to force himself back to his feet. "I'm literally talking to a rock and a rotting corpse. She's not even here."

The way he phrased it I suddenly wanted to turn and leave, not evening wanting to go talk to Vanessa anymore. Because he was right. These were no more than memorials. If we wanted to talk to them, we'd get just as much out of talking to an old picture of them, with a lot less creepiness and cold.

"See you around." Him brushing passed me was enough to trigger my common sense.

"How are you getting home?" I raised an eyebrow. "How'd you even get here?"

He smiled. "UBER."

I nodded toward my dad's Silver Hyundai in the vacant parking lot. "Let me drop you off."

I could tell he was ready to object, but a loud rumble sounding above us, shook him enough that he reluctantly agreed.

We remained silent with the exception of him pointing out the fastest route to his house.

"I hate cars." He eventually broke the uncomfortable silence. "The accident was all it took for me to never want to drive."

I glanced sideways at him, surprised. "You were in the car with your mom?"