TRIGGER WARNING: this chapter contains graphic descriptions of panic attacks, somatic flashbacks (when only your body is remembering a traumatic experience) and mentions of underage drinking.
as soon as sonic slams his door tails feels like it's the end of the world. he can only stare. and stare he does, because his thoughts are blank and he can only feel fear.
'tails?'
he doesn't respond. he just keeps on staring at the door, as if he were waiting for sonic to come back in, saying it was only a joke. that never happens. his chest only tightens.
'taiils.'
he breaks his staring contest with the door and looks at amy.
'tails look at me, follow my breathing.'
his breathing only gets worse and he feels like he's dying. now he can only move his eyes and even then, they blur everything around him. tails is frozen in place by his body who is remembering things his mind can't.
tears threaten to spill again, this time not because of guilt or grief but because he feels something he hadn't in years.
he can't quite remember who or what had made him feel this way but it feels agonizing. tails could never describe the despair he felt.
amy puts her hand on his shoulder, trying to ground him and he flinches. he feels bad because now amy is apologizing. he can't actually hear what she's saying, his ears ring loudly.
'aims...' he manages to croak out.
thankfully his hearing returns, but it feels numb.
amy guides him over to the couch, handing him his favourite blanket. he sits down before feeling a sharp sting in his right tail.
it feels like someone is trying to cut his tail off, but when he looks down he sees no blood, but the sting lingers.
he feels hands grabbing and pulling but no one is near him. amy is on the other side of the room, preparing something frantically.
he feels like he's losing his mind. the pit in his stomach feels like an all consuming black hole, his chest feels crushed and every inch of his body feels terrified.
he stares at the ceiling, waiting for these feelings to go away. they don't.
amy comes back, hot chocolate in her hands. she gives it to tails.
'i made it just how you like it.' she said, a sincere, soft smile accompanying her.
he breaks.
tails cries. and the feelings only get worse. pulling and grabbing turns into dragging and he can't feel his tail but the sting turns into burning. it is all too overwhelming and it consumes him.
he screams in agony, turning infrequent tears into rivers. amy asks if she can hug him. he nods.
amy pulls him into a hug, applying pressure to calm him.
tails can only cry.
he wants this to go away. he doesn't want to feel this way ever again. he hugs amy harder, having a slight feeling of safety. in response she pets his head.
'you're doing so great tails.' she says.
tails only continues crying. he just wants this to stop.
'tails, you are safe here. i won't let anything happen to you. you are in your workshop, you are here in the present with me.' amy says, her voice like petals in the wind.
by some miracle of the universe, the pain subsides just a bit. his hysterical crying turns into a series of soft sobs and whimpers. he still can't breathe properly.
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keep your love away (it only makes me feel like more of a fool) | sonadow story
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