Pain of the Whispers

Chapter 2

Everything burned like hellfire, my eyes and throat. 

My lungs ached for air, and my head throbbed. 

I needed to stop this, it was nonsense. 

I coughed in water and rose to the surface. My head bobbed out the water, I coughed up more water. My chest tightened and burned like hell. 

Everytime Mother allowed me to take a bath, I practiced. I would hold my breath everytime and try to expand how long I could hold it. So whenever she would put my head under, I wouldn't pass out when she brought me back to the surface. I wanted to make Mother proud, I wanted to stand strong and not black out from the lack of oxygen. All I ever wanted to do was make her proud, I wanted her to tell me that she was proud, that was all I ever wanted. 

There was a loud bang at the door, Mother's voice rang out. "Get out of that bathroom! You have chores to do and items I need you to go pick up!" I quickly got dressed and rushed out the bathroom. A large foot was cast out and made me trip to the ground. My head banged the floor, it left me a bit light headed. Mother grabbed me by the back of the hair, she slowly lifted me up to my feet. I hated when she did it slowly, she always made the pain drag on. 

I let out a small wiper from the pain I felt, that was the worst mistake I could have made in that situation. Mother grips the very back of my hair and yanks harder, she slams me against the wall with my hair. Mother got in my face, she was so close I felt her breath on my cheeks. Mother tenderly spoke. "We do not show weakness in this household. Do you understand me?" I nodded feeble like, I didn't want to displease her anymore than I did. Mother let my hair go lock by lock, little by little. 

She didn't let it all go in one drop. 

Mother stared at me with anger in her eyes, but she had her normal expression on. Plain and disappointed, I felt ashamed to make her expression be normal like that.

 Mother gave me a quick shove in the shoulder with her hand. "Go down to the village, get me my usual." I scurried as fast I could out of there before she could say anything else. Mother yelled from the bathroom door. "Get dressed in something decent you rotten fool, don't embarrass me with your clothing." I rushed down the corridor to the attic. 

I wrenched myself up the hatch and quickly tried to get clothes from my only dresser. It was about my height. I built it myself from old material I found outside. Mother didn't know about my dresser, she rarely ever comes up to the attic. Mother says no one should go to such an ungrateful brat's place, as mine. Though I always keep my attic space neat and clean, it's only about the size of a tree trunk. But I'm very grateful I have a place of my own. The only things in my place, in the attic are my few hay strings that from age one has grown over to almost a bale of hay to that at age eight right now. My dresser and my mirror were the only other things in the attic.

 The voices ringed on and on about the terrible things Mother would do to me today. 

I had about only three outfits that Mother has given me. My running boots that I have been wearing since I was six. The boots were twice my size when I first got them, so I could grow into them. When Mother gave me clothes, she would always say. "Get twice your size now for later, so you don't need more clothes. I don't want to waste no money on you." I threw on some gray leggings with the boots. I took off my shirt but stood in front of the mirror. The voices were chattering about how Mother was going to beat me if I didn't move even faster. I was ashamed of how I looked. My brown hair was long, to my lower back. It looked weird, like it was fake. I always wondered why my hair looked so fake, when other girl's hair looked so natural. My eyes were a faded blue, it looked as unnatural as my hair. My eyes flowed down from my face to my body. Five years of scars showed on my back, chest, stomach, and arms, even my legs. The voices never tormented me about my body, I even asked them questions about it. 

Why does Mother always make me sneak through the village, why does she always make me wear a cloak when I go out? 

Why does Mother hide my body, why does she say it's a disgrace?

 I slide my hands over my chest. The other little girls I see in the village never had a big chest like mine. Was that why Mother hated me? My hands slide from my chest to my sides. They were wider then the little girls in the village. My hands reach to the end of my body, to my bum. It was rounder and bigger than the other girls. 

Why was I like this? 

My stomach was tiny, you saw my ribs when you looked at it. My arms were small as well. My skin was white but tan from being outside everyday of my life. I heard Mother scream for me, I quickly put on a black long sleeve. I lowered myself down the hatch and Mother was in the corridor, waiting. Mother threw a cloak at me and scowled. "Be faster next time, don't let yourself be seen or else." I put on the cloak in a hurry and bowed my head in respect towards her. 

I then hurried down the corridor and down the stairs. I walk across the floor towards the front door. It was painted bright red, not even a blind person could miss how bright it was. When I open it, I let the pattern go through my head.

 I jump two steps with both feet onto the porch, I slide to the right and then the left. I then go on my hands and do a handstand. I wobble a bit but slowly walk on my hands in a straight line. When I was right by the stairs to go off the porch, I let my body fall backwards. I land right on my two small feet. It was a fun game I got to do every time I went out to get Mother's items.

 Mother says the front porch is a trap for people that are not welcomed. When you first walk on the porch, there's a snake pit. There's only a little plank you have to walk on your hands for, to get across. There are huge 12 inch stakes that come out of the ground if you don't slide across the boards. And when you jump you have to land on the balls of your feet, if you didn't. A magical rope comes out of the roof of the porch and grabs you by the neck. It hangs you till you're dead and out of breath.

 When I got down the stairs, I took off running through the woods. There was a little path through the woods that led into town, without being seen by anyone. It felt good to feel the wind through my hair, the wind hitting against my skin, making it cold. 

The wind smelled of sweet nature, the trees were blooming. The petals of blossom trees in the woods were blooming, making the smell in the air a bit sweeter than it already was. 

I went faster, wanting to be colder. 

My heart pounds with adrenaline. 

My feet get a bit heavier but my legs move like a blur. I love running, it makes me feel free. 

A loud whistle rained out into the thin air.

 My feet stopped, a smile was painted across my face. He was calling for me.