Pain of the Whispers

Chapter 25

      Immediately after I said those words, Red threw the gun aside. 

      His expression turns from horror, to sympathy, as he falls to his knees in front of me. He tackles me into a hug and says intensely. "I'm not afraid of you Rice, I never have been and never will be. I don't care if you're a failure to her, you will never be a failure to me. I will never let her make you kill anyone else ever again. I will protect you no matter what, please let me." 

    I started to cry; I was so overwhelmed by everything. 

     Especially when I just asked my own best friend to end my life, how could I ever ask that of him?

       Red let tears slip as well, but I could tell he was trying to be strong for me because he only let a few fall before he lets me go. Red grabs me by the shoulders and shakes me intensely as he says. "Never ever ask me to do that again, and please Rice never try to end it. I can't live without you."

      His words hit me hard in my heart, it made me rethink all my actions I have done before. 

  How could we be so young and have to deal with this all? 

 I let his words soak in, I whisper into his shoulder. "I promise I'll never try to take my life or ask someone to take it. I'm so sorry." Red held on to me tightly as he whispered. "It's okay. But Rice, I need you to know it's okay, nothing you can do will make me want to stop being your best friend. You're the only person I care about in this world, nothing will ever stop making me love and care about you." I tear up and nod vastly as I dig my face into his shoulder, I just wanted to stay in his embrace like this. 

    It's the only place where I felt safe.

     Red was the only person that made me feel as if I could be myself around him.

      I learned a hard lesson that night and for nights to follow till the next year, well actually three lessons. One was, that innocent man wasn't the only person I was ever going to kill. The second lesson was, this world is horrible, full of cruel but horrible people. The third lesson was, Mother wasn't looking out for me, she was only looking out for herself.

 The bottom line of it all was, Mother hated me and I learned to hate her as well.