Oblivion

Chapter IV

Love.

That's all I've ever wanted...too be loved.

Me and my parents never really had the best relationship. They split after they had me, not even giving me the chance at a normal life. I always wondered if I was the reason they split, my mother always told me no, but I had that feeling in the back of my gut that she was lying in attempt to keep my innocence pure.

My dad stayed around for a while, but after a few years he moved a couple of hours away. I did stop visiting as much, I wouldn't go every other weekend, now I would only go every two weeks. I think I hurt his feelings, but maybe he was just ready to split with his new family and ditch the mistake he made in the past.

Eventually he moved to wear I couldn't visit but twice a year. Christmas and Summer. I had to fly, I didn't enjoy this. He moved again after a year but I could still barely visit because it took 7 hours to get there. But I tried to go as often as possible, he was still my dad, even if it did feel like he was trying to escape me.

I went to go visit him for New Years, my dad was always into drinking, but not drugs. When I got older I started to realize that every time I saw him he was throwing a party or we were at a party. I'm not gonna lie, it hurt. It made me think he didn't want to spend time with me. Honestly, now, I'm glad we didn't spend anytime together, made me realize how much he really just wanted to get rid of me.

The way he looked at me...the hidden hatred, pure hatred. I know it wasn't my fault but he didn't care. He put all the blame on me, the shame he received for having a child with a woman he was no longer with, it was frowned upon, majorly...I was his reminder of a mistake.

I was the one that wasn't supposed to happen, I knew that, he knew that, and my mom knew that, he had his new family, so I stopped communicating, I let him be with his separate family, I rarely heard from him but oh well I guess.

When I got my letter saying I was accepted into Hogwarts my heart dropped, I was so excited to go somewhere I could feel complete, somewhere where everyone wanted the same thing as me. Somewhere new to start over.

When my mom found out she wasn't happy, she yelled at me, told me I was abandoning her. That's when the truth came out, how she really felt about me. I think that's enough for now though.

As I was walking through the halls to head back to my dorm some other students were in front of me, I recognized them from classes, we were in the same year.

"Did you hear about that girl that got mash potatoes in her face?" one kid said

"Yeah, I wouldn't wanna be her, she must be so embarrassed." the other one said. "Who was she?"

"That nerd Astella, you know? The one that's always reading?" the first kid said.

"Oh Merlin what is wrong with you?" I said not giving a shit anymore.

"Excuse me?" one of them said.

"Look, I don't give a shit who you are, what house your in, or what your status at Hogwarts is, that is my friend and you don't get to talk shit about her, especially not behind her back!" I said practically yelling, I was pissed. Stella and Theo were the first friends I made at Hogwarts. The first friends I made in general, I wasn't going to let anyone treat them like they aren't the most precious things in the world.
They are my most prized possessions.

Theo had now stood behind me, "Do we have a problem?" He said, making me jump because I didn't know he was there.

"No, sorry." They said speed walking off.

"Are you okay?" Theo said grabbing my shoulder.

"I'm fine!" I stated, throwing his hand off of my shoulder and turning around to go to my dorm.

He followed, if there was one thing Theo didn't do, was give up, he never gave up. So if me or Stella gave me any sort of attitude he always figured out why, whether it was us mad at him or us just mad in general, or other reasons.

"What. Is. Wrong?" Theo said not giving a shit that I looked like I was gonna explode in anger.

"Nothing Theo, just leave it."

"No"

"Yes"

"Charlotte."

"I don't know." I said, sighing. I honestly didn't know, everything happening with Stella, then all the feelings with Theo, and the thoughts of my mom...the ones I tried to shove as far back in my memories as possible.

"Come on let's go." Theo said grabbing my hand. "you can stay with me and Regulus tonight."

I didn't argue, it wasn't not normal for me to stay in his dorm, I felt safe there, and Stella didn't like breaking the rules so I never got to stay at hers...unless I somehow managed to sneak in there...which hasn't happened yet.

Though the coldness of his rings touching my skin gave me a sense of relief, it was cute, he was wearing a ring that I made for him, we were matching, we also both had matching house symbol rings...plus other random ones.

"I'm ready for this day to be done" I said plopping down on Mattheo's bed.

"Yeah well it's not yet." Theo said rolling his eyes and throwing some clothes at me. "Go" he said with an rbf and attitude because I just sat there not moving.

I walked into his bathroom to change, I was tired and ready to sleep, "I HATE THIS SHIRT AND YOU KNOW IT!" I said slapping Theo in the arm, it was his stupid 'I like rats' shirt that had a terrible picture of me on it.

He made it as a joke but every once in a while he'll wear it when we're hanging out or when I'm staying over and it's annoying...but a cute annoying

"Whatever you say," he said smiling and turning back to his book.

"What are you reading?" I said plopping down next to him.

"Dracula"

"Ooo I wanna read with."

We sat there for hours finishing the book, not even realizing that it was 1 am before we finished.

"Night Char." He said wrapping his arm around me.

"Night Theo." I replied, laying my had on his chest and drifting off to sleep.

•__•__•
Authors Note

depressing. lmao

this is bad so far...istg if it doesn't get better.