Gifted | | A Criminal Minds Fanfic

23.) Depression

Melanie

* ~ One Month Later ~ *

I wish I could say that everything was back to normal, but that would be one big lie. The demon from my past was finally dead and gone, and yet...for some odd reason I still feel like he's still somewhere lurking in the shadows. I spent fourteen long years of my life, running and being afraid of him, but I didn't have worry about him anymore. Everyone made sure that he was dead and even showed me proof as confirmation, so why did I feel like this was far from over?

"You okay there? I think I lost you for a minute." My physical therapist, Jessica, said giving me a playful smile.

"Sorry...my mind is all over the place." I sighed, clearing my throat. My throat was still a bit sore and raspy from being strangled to death, but I was starting to sound like myself again.

"It's alright. You've been through something traumatic, so it's only normal that your mind wanders every now and then." She sits down in front of me and holds out a ball, that was sitting in the palm of her hand. "Take the ball."

"I don't want to do this."

"Melanie, in order for your hand to heal, we have to do these exercises." She said. "I know it's frustrating, but things like this take time." I sighed heavily and slowly licked my lips. "Come on...give it a try." I lifted my hand, wincing from the mild pain that I was feeling, as I tried to grab the ball from her. My hand and fingers were still broken, and I couldn't move my fingers at all, but I was starting to feel pain in my hand again; which was a good sign. I had been in and out of surgeries for the past month, and so far...the doctors were hopeful that I'd get the mobility back in my hand.

"This is so pointless!" I huffed, dropping my hand.

"Hey, it's not pointless. Just two weeks ago, you couldn't even lift your hand on your own, but now you can; and soon enough...you'll be grabbing that ball from me in no time." Well...at least one of us has faith in me, because I sure as hell don't. "How about we call it a day and just pick this back up next time?" I nod my head as she helps me put my sling back on, before she gathers her things and leaves the house. I sigh and close my eyes for a moment, before getting up and going into the kitchen.

"Hey sweetie. How was your session today?" My grandma asked me.

"Thumbs down." I respond, sitting down at the counter. "Physical therapy isn't working."

"Melanie, we've been over this. You won't heal in a day, sweetie, you have to trust the process. I know that you're depressed, and you have every right to be, but don't give up. You are strong and you're not alone."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry, I just...I'm tired and in pain, and I haven't slept well in weeks."

"That's because you refuse to take those sleeping pills your doctor prescribed for you." She said, as she walks over to me. "You're overly exhausted, you've been cooped up in this house for the last month, and you're irritable. Why don't you call Dr. Reid and let him take you on a walk or something. Rossi said that you two have been awfully close lately."

"I don't want him to see me like this. He's been asking to stop by, but I always make up an excuse for him not to." I sigh heavily. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Melanie, nothing is wrong with you baby. We've been through something traumatic, so it's perfectly understandable for you to not want to interact with anyone, but listen to me. That monster of a man...he's dead and we can finally rest without looking over our shoulders now. You can go back to school, get your degree, and become an official agent with the BAU. You can finally go out on dates, have a normal life, and that's all you've ever wanted. That's all I've ever wanted for you." She was right. This was something that I have dreamed of for years, being rid of the Spiderman, and finally being able to live a normal life. But was that really possible for me? Could I actually live a normal life?

"You're right, grandma. After everything we've been through, we deserve to have a bit of normalcy in our lives." I stand up and I give her a hug. "Thanks grandma. I'm going to go try and take a nap. I'll see you at dinner." I give her a kiss on the cheek, before going upstairs to my room, and taking off my sling. I look at my hand and try to grab something off of my dresser, but again...no luck. I could feel my fingers twitching, which I'm hoping was a good sign. I sigh and sit down on my bed, just as my phone starts ringing. It's Spencer.

"Hey." I answer.

"Hey. I hope I'm not interrupting anything, I just wanted to call and check on you. How was physical therapy?" He asked me.

"It was fine. I still can't move my hand, but everyone is telling me to trust the process so I guess that's what I have to do. You guys working a new case?"

"Yeah, we're in Oregon, looking for an unsub that is killing people by running them over with their car. Pretty gruesome, but then again...all of our cases are gruesome."

"That's true. I thought I had seen it all, but working a few cases with you guys just showed me that I hadn't seen nothing!" I laugh a little, as I lay back on the bed. "So um...I...I wanted to apologize to you."

"Apologize? For what?" He questioned, and I can bet money that he's furrowing his eyebrows right now. He looks so cute when he does that.

"I've been pretty distant lately and pushing you away, which wasn't my intention, but I just didn't want you to see me all sad and depressed."

"Mel, don't apologize. You just went through something horrific and if pushing me away is helping you cope, then I'm okay with that. Just know that I'll be here for you whenever you're ready." I can't help but to smile at his sweet words. My first genuine smile in what feels like forever. Everyone has said the same thing to me, in some shape or form, but it's a lot more meaningful coming from him.

"Thank you, Spencer, but...I don't want to push you away anymore. I can't promise that I won't have bad days, but...I can promise to stop pushing you away and open up a little bit more. Just please be patient with me." I say, hoping that he'll understand.

"I'm the definition of patient." He chuckles. "I want to revisit this conversation once I'm back, but I have to go. I'll call you soon." After we say our goodbyes, I lay back in bed, feeling way better than I did earlier. It's time I pull myself out of this funk and take control of my life again. No more living in fear, even though that's easier said than done.