Hxh X Reader

Routwash (Phantom Troupe)

N. A moment of panic that you'll end up looking back on years of labor with little to show for it, that despite all the time you've spent gathering skills and connections and experiences, many of them will prove to have been worth almost nothing in the long run, redeemable for petty cash, a line on a resume, a few compliments, or a handful of magic beans.
Tw: Gore and violence + madness
M/n is mother's name
S/n is sister's name
(There are two women in the FT, this is happening after [spoiler] happened)
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The wind chime played melodiously as the wind blew through the windows, prying the sheer curtains aside. The sky was clear and the air was fresh and comforting, unlike myself. I had nothing against the place, but upon grievance I simply could not bring myself to enjoy the smell of the lovely flowers nor the gorgeous sound of the crystal chimes.

I exhaled while I closed my eyes, bowing my head on my wooden desk. Forcing my eyes to open and find interest in my F/C sateen dress so that I would not have to look back up and face the cheery bright light of the day. I closed my eyes once more before forcing myself up, going towards the shop's door and walking out.
Only a few moments later did I notice a group of rather unique people walking on the other side of the street. I normally did not care for anyone, rather I despised any sort of group but they were chillingly different from your usual 'friend group'.

They were quite  far away but I still locked eyes with one of them, quickly obliging myself to look away in order to avoid confrontation with the menacing gaze that came my way in return.

In that moment, I felt the urge to cry and so I bowed my head submissively. I did not mean to appear so fragile but my heart had been so heavy that seeing one person so intimidating had broken all my barriers- what was left of them at least.

And just like that, I could not stand where I was anymore, I locked the shop's door with a key and sat down on the stairs. My heart was racing uncontrollably and tears prickled my eyes.

Taking out the letter from my dress' hidden pocket, I brushed my fingers on the font that was on it, my heart getting heavier by the second

-"In the loving memory of m/n and s/n"-

They both saved me from dad.
And now they're all gone and I'm all alone.

I had never liked my mother and sister much, they had been mean to me, but never as much as my father. They were killed by him and I had gotten the news only this morning.
There had been a fire; they forcefully killed themselves in order to get rid of him so that he would not get to me.

I was always his target and everyone always had to protect me.

We ran away but I never had time to recover and to this day I am still extremely fragile emotionally. It's been three years but I suppose it wasn't really over after all.

Everything hurts me and I never want to be mean to anything or anyone out of fear, all because of him, or at least the now-memory of him.

But that only does so much

The last person I wanted to see came towards me, a brazen stature and provocative clothings. Of course she had to be here of all places and of all days.

She was- well I didn't really know who she was.
I had "met" her at school a long while back but now we were adults and she hadn't changed. I never did anything to her, never talked to her but she was so horribly bitchy with me.