Kintsugi

Chapter 10

John stumbled down the stairs at 5:45 in the morning the following day, confused as to who would be knocking on the loft door that early. Once he slid the door open, he was beyond surprised to find Sami standing there with tears in her eyes. John was still half asleep, and asked in a questioning tone, "Sami? Peanut, what's wrong? Where the hell have you been?"

She started crying in relief as John pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly. Him calling her Peanut was the final act to open the flood gates of her already overwrought emotions. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry!" she cried, throwing her arms around John. It was like coming home, his scent bringing back memories of her early childhood, and all of the times he had held her close when she felt like her life was falling apart. When John had been taken away from her, she'd felt her life begin to spiral. At first, she was so young that she didn't understand it, but later when she was a teenager, she'd tried so hard to hang onto her new family, that she'd actually succeeded in destroying it. Too young to understand at the time, she'd blamed everyone around her, while refusing to accept her own responsibility in it.

"Your mother is going to be so happy," he told her, smoothing his hand over her hair. Marlena had woken from a nightmare two days ago about an interaction she'd had with Sami when she was possessed. She'd woken in a panic, sobbing and blaming herself for Sami having run away from home, and while John had reassured her that there was very likely much more to it, Marlena still felt responsible.

Sami looked up at the man she still considered her father, the only man in her life she felt she could trust, and said softly, "Can we talk first?"

"Yeah, sure. Do you want something to drink? I'm going to start a pot of coffee, but I have tea too," he said, turning towards the kitchen.

"Just water, please," Sami said walking towards the couch.

"You know, Sami, the whole family has been worried sick about you over the last few months. Carrie and Austin even followed you to LA, and then Seattle, looking for you," John said, watching her for a moment before he resumed what he was doing.

"I'm sorry...I've screwed up so much, John. I don't even know where to start, to fix this," she said, wiping a tear from her face.

"Well, Peanut,  you could start at the beginning. Your mom and I love you, no matter what. I want you to remember that, and any mistakes you may have made, we're here for you. Always."

Walking over to the couch, John sat beside her, taking her hand in his, and turning her face to look at him. "When did it start, honey?"

"I don't know! Mom probably thinks it was her...but it wasn't. Everything seems to have something before it. Something that caused something else. There's so much to unpack..." she said softly with her voice trailing off at the end. "I know I need to talk to someone...professional, but I've had so much anger towards mom over the last few years, I've refused to do it. Now I'm in this mess."

"It's early, we've got time. We can start at the beginning, and I think I know when that was," John said, standing up to go pour himself a cup of coffee.

"You do?" She asked him. Did John really know, or did he just think he knew?

John walked back to the couch, handing her a glass of water. "Probably around the same time my own life took a dramatic turn. When Roman Brady returned," he said softly. "And I don't want you to take that wrong, Sami. I don't mean it that way. It's just, that moment, that event...well, it changed everything, didn't it?"

"I lost my Daddy...I lost you," she said staring at the water glass in her hands.

"Our lives were thrown into chaos, and it was through no fault of our own. I lost my wife, my house, my job...and my children," he told her her. "I had been your father for seven years, and suddenly I wasn't."