MISSING.

Prologue~

I had been up all night again.

My mother could clearly tell, from the bags under my eyes, and the paleness of my skin, and as usual, she was anything but pleased to see.

"I just don't see why you can't get to sleep at least a little bit early, like a normal teenager."

I stared at the woman before me, i'd never noticed the wrinkles on her forehead being as distinctive as they were on this day, I guess it must take tole, Widowed and left with a troublesome teenager, though it likely didn't make much of a difference, dad had more things to stress about, more important than his son,more important than his wife.

Even now he is dead, his job was still put before his family, even his funeral had police officers carrying his coffin, and mother refused to bin the paperwork behind the missing boy of '87- the case was unsolved, still, but he had dedicated last 8 years to finding him, not that he knew that he'd only live till he was 41.

I was 14.

14 when I had come home to him sleeping on his work desk.

14 when he refused to wake up from that slumber, though I was so desperate to tell him that I had made my first friend in freshman year.

I had to tell him at his funeral instead.

To tell him that I had made my first friend, That his name was Ray Toro and he was in sophomore year and he had helped me do my homework and had introduced me to new bands.

But oh, he would love me now.

I'm in my last year of high school. not that I attend lessons. I sit up on the roof area with my friends Jamia, Lindsey and Bob, getting high and hell, sometimes I do turn up. But then I get reminded, reminded that I will likely not go to college, and i will live in my mom's house until i'm 30, unless I decide that I want to be in a band which will likely break up after 12 years because of course, nothing is ever going to be permanent.

I speak to Ray frequently though. Owns a record store downtown New Jersey, not a far walk from my house at all. He has a boyfriend now, he is all settled, lives with him and everything, though I've been putting off meeting the guy for a while.

Ray was always admirable like that though, always thought of his future, alas, kind of thought of himself as the next slash, with the hair and everything, I believe he could do it though, and if he ever needed a rhythm guitarist, he knew I was always available.

And I guess all I really needed to find was some peace of mind because Jesus christ, if I continued this way, I wouldn't make it till easter, and that would be a pity.