in the end ~ d. malfoy

Chapter Forty-Eight

July 2016

THE STREETS OF RIO DE JANEIRO ARE bringing back memories that Nandini would rather forget.

There was a time where she didn't feel as expendable — when going on a mission meant saving lives instead of being tucked out of sight as the Clave ruins everything about the reality you've painstakingly built. When she could smile in public without being called soft, when she actually looked forward to slicing open the throat of another demon with her seraph. When she didn't have to worry about the red wine slipping down her throat being laced with venom. When a sick feeling in her stomach meant that she just had food poisoning instead of her moral compass being obliterated.

That phase was decades ago.

Even after twenty years, the bar still remains unchanged. There's Christmas lights on the wall, a '60s Camaro in the corner, the same wicker chair and magazines laden in an alcove. The walls are a faded sunset orange, covered with Beatles posters, an electric guitar collecting dust on the shelf.

She remembers that night vividly — they'd snuck away here for a long weekend the summer after Year 12, as the smell of coconut tanning lotion stuck to their skin. Running through the rain to find solace in this very bar, Maryse's squeal echoing through the open-air room as a passing car drenched her sundress. Nandini'd still had her glasses back then, furiously wiping at them with an already-sodden shirt as Maryse wooed the bartender into not checking their IDs. They'd ordered hot mulled wine to combat the cold, curling up on one of the loveseats as the taste of cinnamon and pineapple swirled on her tongue.

Nandini doesn't remember when exactly their relationship changed — or rather when she changed. She's always liked both sides of the spectrum, having feelings for attractive individuals even if they were the same sex. It's not like she's told anyone — her parents don't even let her look at the opposite sex, much less accept that their daughter is bisexual.

But somewhere along the line, things between them took on a different turn. She can't exactly recall when she started to feel this way — maybe it was the time she woke up with Maryse wrapped around her after a sleepover, that instance when they had to pretend to be together to ward off a creepy guy during Jia Penhallow's birthday party or that one time where they had to share a kiss during a game of spin the bottle. All that Nandini can make sense of is that their previously clear-cut relationship is now in murky water — edging the forbidden line between platonic and romantic.

And she's not even sure if she wants to fall over.

On the surface, Maryse Trueblood is smoke and mirrors — tongue as sharp as her blade slicing through the heart of a demon. She's intelligent, calculating, confident and charming in a deadly way that makes Nandini's insides flutter — in fear or awe, she can't tell. With her striking amber eyes and silky straight coal-black hair, it's no surprise that she's caught the eye of many boys at the Academy. She's the perfect Shadowhunter daughter, poised, pretty and poisonous enough to have a twenty-page kill count.

But that night, she was someone different.

Maryse had been vulnerable, less sure of herself once the alcohol hit them both. It was as if time had stopped, decided to slow in it's everlasting loop instead of running along at a pace the Shadowhunter could never seem to match. Words Nandini had never expected to hear had poured from her lips — uncertainty about her future, her life, what she was expected to become. There was a certain breakable quality to her voice, like a crystal glass teetering on the precipice of a shelf. And yet, she'd never seemed stronger when their eyes had met, uttering something that still sends shivers down Nandini's spine until today.