(13) Two idiots with lots of courage

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TW: References to drug use via injection. Description of scarring.

ɤɤɤɤ ɤɤɤɤ ɤɤɤɤ


Your eyes are darting around without focusing on anything as your thoughts are racing. You calmed down just enough to get a hold of the situation. You took, once again, drugs. Apparently enough to make Spencer drag you into the bathroom and shower you with warm water to calm your pulse. Then, just now, he said something. You stare at his lips as if they would tell you if you heard him correctly. As if you could reimagine how they must have moved.

You raise your hand and turn off the faucet.

"What did you say?" Your voice is raspy.

Spencer avoids your gaze, instead he gets up and offers you his hands. You're too exhausted to push the subject. But you don't forget it.

Your legs are all wobbly when you get out the tub. The wet clothes cling to your body and weigh you down. You felt hot a minute ago, but now that there is no more pleasantly warm water drenching you, the chilly air cools the clothes down. Of course, you don't keep the bathroom at a pleasant temperature. You try to spend as little time in here as possible. Usually, you don't even turn on the light when you use the toilet. You just leave the door to the hallway open. That way, you don't have to look at the tub.

Now, however, you really wish you would have taken the time to buy some rugs for the floor and install one of those automatic heating timers to counter the cold at least at night.

Your teeth start to chatter, and you point towards the only dresser. Spencer finally rips his gaze off the floor and hastily opens the drawers to find the one with the towels.

You turn your back to him and start to take off your clothes. They make a loud splashing sound when you throw them into the bathtub. You hear Spencer inhale sharply when he turns back to hand you the towel. The visual of all the scars on your back and legs must be disturbing.

You only turn your head. He leans forward without stepping closer and hands you the towel. His eyes wander down your arm and he looks at the scarred track marks again. Quickly, you take the towel and put it around yourself. When you fully turn to him, you see that his cheeks are flushed. If you weren't crashing so hard and about to fall asleep standing up, you would feel embarrassed that he had to see you like this. That you made him look at your disgusting, battered body.

But you just stand there. Blinking slowly, not moving a muscle. Spencer is frozen as well. For a moment, you just stare at each other.

You open your mouth, but you don't know what to say. Instead, you finally get moving and just walk past him and to your bedroom. Without a word, he follows you. With trembling hands, you get out fresh, dry underwear. It makes Spencer very suddenly aware of the intimacy of the situation and he quickly turns around, mumbling a: "Sorry."

You dry yourself off as much as you can be bothered to and then put on some pajamas.

"You can look."

Slowly, he turns back around.

You see the sadness in his eyes. Like the first time you looked into them, but now it's more on the surface.

You take a deep breath to regain focus. "I don't want to sound ungrateful, but why are you here?"

He crosses his arms just to uncross them again and put his hands in the pocket of his pants instead. Then he tells you rapidly: "Your phone was turned off, and then your car was gone. I walked around the neighborhood to look for you. When I came back to your apartment, I saw the car and came up here."

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